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Guest Blog Post by the
Woman with the God-Shaped Void
Everyone is born with a God-shaped void
and what we do to try to fill that void is where our journey begins. For me, I was baptized when I was nine years
old, but did not continue to walk in the light my entire journey (1 John 1:5-7). I am so thankful for our God who seals us and
out of His grace, love and mercy, calls us His own the moment we accept Jesus
as our Lord and Savior. Even when I
wasn’t giving God my best, He was always there, waiting for my repentance. (Right: artwork and copyright permission by Christal Ann Rice Cooper for this CRC Blog Post Only)
Throughout high school and college, the
feelings of these voids intensified. As
most others, I tried to fill it with boys, friends, hobbies, jobs, and new
adventures. I searched and searched and
searched. The beautiful thing is that,
although I was unaware, God went with me in all of my searching. The days where I could hardly breath because
I cried so hard in disappointment, the days where I partied way too hard and
felt miserable, and the days where I obsessed over the thrills of attention
from others: He was there. (Right: Artwork and copyright by Christal Ann Rice Cooper for this CRC Blog Post Only)
We thought that surely, it would fill our
voids. It did not. So, we decided to get pregnant and thought
that would again, fix us. Four months
into having a newborn we hit rock bottom.
I’m talking storming-around-the-house-yelling-and-hating-each-other kind
of rock bottom. I pictured ‘For Sale’
signs going up in our front yard as we talked about getting a divorce. I wanted out and I wanted the grass that
appeared greener on the other side. My
parents told me differently, which became our saving grace. When I packed up myself and our newborn to go
stay with my parents, they told me I needed to go home and fix it. So, for some reason, I went back home.
My mom gave me some advice: put on the
local Christian radio station and never turn it off. So, I took her advice, yet again. As I faced dark day after miserable day, I
started to notice a song that was always playing when I got into my car. The title was “Strong Enough” by Matthew
West.
To say I was completely annoyed at how many
times this song was on, is an understatement.
There is a day, however, when the song fulfilled its purpose and I will
never forget it. I got into my car and,
of course, it was on the radio. I went
to smack my radio and violently changed the station when it was as if there was
a glass wall that stopped me. God
grabbed my attention. The lyrics of the
song “I know I’m not strong enough to be everything that I’m supposed to
be. I give up. I’m not strong enough” finally hit me.
Days after this encounter both my husband
and I went to a small group at our church.
And because God is just so cool and works miracles, the lesson that day
happened to be on depending on God for your strength! Just like He had grabbed my attention a few
days earlier, that morning He specifically called me back to Him. I remember Him blocking out all of the other
voices in our room and He spoke directly to me.
He said, “I love you. I have not
forsaken you. I have been right here the
whole time. You don’t have to keep
running. I am your strength.” I burst into tears and the rest of the
morning was spent weeping with Christ as we were both flipped upward and saw
God right before us. Together, we
realized that God was the answer to everything and in Him we could be whole.
In my
heart and soul, I no longer feel the longing for something more because God is
the only One who can and has truly satisfied all of my hopes, dreams and
desires. I know that life will not
always be easy, but He has filled me with a peace that surpasses all
understanding
God
is magnificent; He can never be praised enough.
There
are no boundaries to his greatness.
Psalm
145:3
So
do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I
will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with My righteous right
hand
Isaiah
41:10
I
will be with you
When
you pass through the waters
And
when you pass through the rivers,
They
will not overwhelm you.
You
will not be scorched
When
you walk through the fire,
And
the flame will not burn you.
Isaiah
43:2
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