Christal Cooper
Guest Blogger Jesse Hotz
My Side of
the Story
False
Domestic Violence Allegations Nightmare
On Sunday, January 31st, 2016,
I was working in the basement of our Marion, Montana family home,
wiring the basement family rec room and hanging up sheet rock with a sheet rock
lifting machine. I had previously completed a family home
remodel of our Montana retirement home, which provided a basement apartment
(1,200 square foot area) for my mother-in-law, Linda Ann Greene. Her basement apartment included a bedroom,
bathroom, private kitchen area, living room, sewing room, and closets.
Marion, Montana Hotz Family Home
Copyright granted by Jesse Hotz
While working that Sunday afternoon I drank 3 to 4
Bud Lime beers and was still sober.
My wife Katherine Hotz, her mother Linda Ann Green, my 11 year old son W.H.
and my 9 year old daughter E.H. had all gone ice fishing in the Kalispell, Montana
area. Around 5:00 p.m.,
I started calling their cell phones to check on them, and I did not
receive any return phone calls. When
everyone returned home at 6:30 p.m., I was relieved, and greeted
everyone in a friendly manner.
Left, map of Kalispell, Montana.
Right: View of Kalispell, Montana.
W.H., went to his bedroom to play
his Nintendo Wii games. Katherine,
Linda Ann Greene, and E.H. were all sitting at the kitchen
counter. I overheard Linda yell
at W.H. to get a bag of pellets for the pellet stove in her basement living
room area. Since my son W.H. was in his
bedroom playing the Nintendo Wii, I went to the attached garage (right
off the kitchen) to get her requested bag of pellets. I carried the 40-pound bag of pellets
from the garage area to the downstairs pellet stove. As I was passing back through the
kitchen, Katherine yelled and questioned me why I moved the bag of
pellets. I told her I was doing what
Linda requested to do.
E.H. went downstairs to pick up the bag of pellets and carry
them back upstairs to her mom, Katherine.
Linda screamed at me for allowing E.H. to carry the 40 pound bag of pellets.
Daughter E.H. Copyright granted by Jesse Hotz.
I pointed my finger at her, while she was sitting across the
wide kitchen counter. I emphatically
told her to “……Stay the (expletive) out of my business.” She reached across the counter, grabbed
my finger, and slapped my hand away.
I told Linda that she was going to regret causing more problems with
our family. Katherine charged at me and
tried to head butt me, which she had done to me on numerous
occasions. I put my left hand up in front of my
face to defend myself, backed away, and then walked away from the kitchen area
into the living room.
Jesse Hotz. Copyright granted by Jesse Hotz.
I immediately walked away from the kitchen area and
into the living room. I heard Linda call
911 and then Katherine and Linda took WH and EH and left our family home. As they were leaving, WH looked at me and
shrugged his shoulders. I interpreted
this as W.H. acknowledging that he had to once again go along with his mother
and his grandmother, until both had settled down.
Son W.H. Copyright granted by Jesse Hotz.
That Sunday evening, I received a phone call from the
Flathead County Sheriff’s Department.
When the three (3) Flathead County law enforcement
officials arrived, I invited them into the house living room to talk. They asked me if I had been drinking, and I
told them I drank 3 to 4 beers, but that I was sober. Immediately, I was placed in double
handcuffs without being frisked. At that
very moment, I informed them, that my Kel-Tec 9 was in my back
pocket. Next, I was taken to
jail. I was in shock, but then
thought that this was either a major misunderstanding or simply law enforcement
procedure.
I had never been in jail before. It was absolutely devastating, humiliating,
and demoralizing. I felt like it
was a bad nightmare. This jail cell was
occupied by about a dozen other men, who were accused of robbery, drugs, and
DUIs. I definitely was an “outsider”
in this group of men.
I later learned from a close relative who is
in law enforcement that I legally should have been given my Miranda rights at
the time of the arrest. I was not allowed a phone call or the
opportunity to give a written or recorded police statement in my own
defense.
The police report stated, that I was intoxicated, which
is false because I was sober. I was
not given a blood alcohol test for my BAC or a field sobriety test as
proof of intoxication.
The next day, February 1, 2016 the Flathead County Judge
simply told me to go home. As I was
being released, one of the Flathead County officers informed me that my wife
and mother-in-law had filed an emergency restraining order against me, which
meant I could not return to my home.
The Flathead County law enforcement officer called my wife,
Katherine to set up an arrangement for me to get my personal belongings. Her response was that she would be in
Washington State for the next several weeks, so I would have to wait.
By this time it was late Monday afternoon, (February 1st,
2016) in Kalispell, Montana, and there was a freezing cold snowstorm with
below-zero temperatures. I only had
my tennis shoes, blue jeans, a t-shirt, and a vest jacket. I did not have any cash, identification,
credit cards, or a cell phone with contact phone numbers. At this point, I was homeless and
destitute.
Weather forecast photo of Kalispell, Montana.
Attributed to Betty Jo Jones. Public Domain.
For the next 6 to 8 hours, I walked around
Kalispell, Montana in a freezing cold snowstorm in tennis shoes and no winter
coat and without any money, credit cards, identification, or a cell phone. All the homeless shelters were closed, as
they were full, due to the Kalispell winter snowstorm and blizzard. I was able to seek shelter and help from
a businessman and his wife, as I had done contractor work for them in
Kalispell, Montana. They were very
caring and kind to help me get a motel room for the night.
Downtown area of Kalispell, Montana.
Fair Use
While in
that motel room, I was at a complete rock bottom point in my life, and I felt
that I had no choice but to file for divorce.
The agonizing feelings of despair and hopeless betrayal were beyond
words. I honestly do not think, that my wife, Katherine Greene Hotz, expected
me to file for a divorce, as I was always loyal.
Rainbow photograph attributed to Jesse Hotz.
Copyright granted by Jesse Hotz.
The next day (Tuesday, 02/02/2016), I called
another business associate to give me a ride from Kalispell, Montana to Marion,
Montana. I had called the Flathead
County Police Department again to help me retrieve my personal belongings with
my wallet (including my credit cards and money), my driver’s license, cell
phone, prescription eyeglasses, prescription medications, winter jacket, winter
clothes, winter boots, and so on.
I also needed to get my truck.
Weather Forecast photo of man walking in snow in Marion, Indiana.
Public Domain.
Thankfully, another business friend and a police officer
were able to drive me with the half-hour drive from Kalispell, Montana to
Marion, Montana to get my personal belongings and my truck. I had ten (10) minutes to quickly
get my things. As it turned out,
my wife, her mother, and my two (2) young children were not at the
Marion, Montana family home, as they had gone to Washington State for the Super
Bowl game with the Seattle Seahawks playing in the 2016 Super Bowl. I will forever remember finding a hidden
and loving note from my 9-year old daughter, E.H., on my bedroom pillow. Her precious note read, “I LOVE YOU DADDY.”
Under her note was my wallet.
After retrieving my personal belongings, I stayed at a
budget motel in Kalispell, Montana for another night.
I called my 91-year old dad in
Texas. My dad loaned me the money
to hire a lawyer.
Jesse Hotz holding his father's hand. Copyright granted by Jesse Hotz.
On that same day, (Tuesday, 02/02/2016), I went to
see a local lawyer. There would be a
$1,500 retainer fee for the legal divorce part and another $1,500 retainer
fee for the lawyer to handle my domestic violence charges. I knew, that I had to prove my
innocence first and foremost.
I also had to regain custody and visitation with my kids. I refused to plead guilty to the
domestic violence charge nor accept a plea deal for the domestic violence
charge, because I was innocent.
I also needed to find a place to live. Again, a business friend and a Kalispell law
enforcement officer accompanied me to get my motor home in Marion,
Montana. I was able to set up my
motor home in a Marion, Montana trailer park area for $250.00 per month.
Jesse Hotz standing next to his mobile home.
Copyright granted by Jesse Hotz.
So, I was now living in a motor home without
running water in a trailer park in rural Marion, Montana during the dead cold
of winter; while, my wife, Katherine Greene Hotz, and her mother,
Linda Ann Greene, were living together in a spacious 5,000+ square-foot
and luxurious family retirement home in Marion, Montana, which I was
paying for entirely.
Marion, Montana Hotz Family Home
Copyright granted by Jesse Hotz
I have since learned, that this is not an easy legal
feat or an easy road. The worst part was
losing custody of my Children and only having phone visitation once a week
for an hour or so. Even then, their
phone calls were closely monitored by their mother. My Children were hurt the most, and all
I could do was reassure them that their Dad Loves them very much. And, I kept reminding them to “….Keep Smiling,
Be Happy, and Be Loving …..”
A close personal friend and legal advocate extensively
researched online and located these pertinent articles, pertaining to false
domestic violence allegations.
• “Stop
False Allegations of Domestic Violence”
(Petition2Congress: Free Petitions That Send Email to Capitol
Hill.)
• “False
Allegations of Abuse Target Men in Divorce”
(Huffington
Post, HuffPost Divorce, Joseph E. Cordell, Cordell Law, dated 11/18/2015.) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-e-cordell/false-allegations-of-abus_b_8578086.html
• “Gallatin
County Judge Rules Domestic Violence Law Discriminates Against Men”
(Bozeman Daily Chronicle, Whitney Bermes, Chronicle Staff Writer, dated
03/26/2016.) http://www.bozemandailychronicle.com/news/crime/gallatin-county-judge-rules-domestic-violence-law-discriminates-against-men/article_5961828c-01ca-5662-bff8-b4a6cd201011.html
Gallatin County Judge Rick West. Public Domain
These articles were truly informative and relevant, and led
me to a new understanding of why my wife and mother-in-law made these false
accusations: both were not happy about
my early retirement from Boeing, since there would no longer be a 6+-digit
family income. I believe they made
the false accusations in hopes that it would force me to go back to work with
Boeing in either Washington State, or Helena, Montana, and therefore I would only be able to return for short family
visits on my days off from work.
view of Helena, Montana
Even though it didn’t go as they planned, they still have had
an advantage over me through the legal divorce process and the legal criminal
process. I had to fight tooth and
nail to clear my name and my record.
Regaining visitation and shared custody of my Children has been a saving
grace.
Jesse Hotz. Copyright granted by Jesse Hotz.
Throughout the entire arduous and lengthy legal process for
the next six (6) months, I learned that many men, husbands, and
fathers are the victims of false domestic violence allegations. Criminally and
legally, men who are falsely accused of domestic violence are treated guilty,
until they can prove their innocence.
Usually they are forced from their family homes, and not allowed contact
with their children. Most cannot hire
experienced attorney, and if they do, it is a great legal expense. In many cases, these innocent men have to
rely on public defenders, who are too busy and overworked to fully represent
them. In many cases, the innocent men
agree to take plea deals, which adversely affect long-term employment, child
custody, gun rights, etc.
The false accuser usually retains the family home, custody
of the children, and full financial support during the lengthy legal
process.
The innocent man being accused is simply hung out to dry and
treated as a dangerous and guilty criminal and wife-beater. And, even if and when the legal and criminal
charges are dismissed against the male victim, there is no accountability
whatsoever for the false accuser, who has falsely accused the male victim with
false domestic violence allegations.
There is not even so much as a slap on the wrist. And, even with false domestic violence
allegations, the false accuser has everything to gain and nothing to lose. There is not any legal or ethical
accountability whatsoever.
Hopefully, with increased public awareness, advocacy,
activism, and support, new laws will be enacted to fix this horrific problem
for male victims and their families.
After
spending over $30,000.00+ in legal costs with several attorneys, my legal
battles are still far from over. There
will be more legal issues and legal costs, which will probably take several
more years and thousands more dollars. "Que Sera. Sera."
My Life
has been shattered and devastated by the false domestic violence allegations
"Silver Bullet."
All of the
emotional, mental, financial, and physical anguish and stress has aged me
decades beyond my years. And, all of the
family stress has had other heartbreaking repercussions. My 91-year old Dad
just had a double massive stroke.
Jesse holding his father's hand. Copyright granted by Jesse Hotz.
Some days,
I keep asking myself when it will ever end. And, through all the ups and downs,
I truly and honestly still have to work one day at a time at being
"Better" and not "bitter."
My Children and Family are My Saving
Graces. So, I pull on my boots and face
"My Little Ones," and I put on My Strong, Brave, and Loving Dad face.
To that end, "We Dad Soldiers Must Keep On Keeping On" ....
"Carry On, My Brothers." AMEN.
