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***This is the twelfth in a never-ending series called BACKSTORY OF THE POEM
where the Chris Rice Cooper Blog (CRC) focuses on one specific poem and
how the poet wrote that specific poem. All of the BACKSTORY
OF THE POEM series links are posted at the end of this piece.
Backstory of the Poem
“What I Learned This Week”
by Angela Narciso Torres
Facebook:
Angela Narciso Torres
(Above Left photo of Angela Narciso Torress attributed to Marlene del Rosario)
Can you go through the
step-by-step process of writing this poem from the moment the idea was first
conceived in your brain until final form?
The kernel for this
poem came from a William Stafford poem I’d read years ago called, “What’s in My
Journal.” I liked the way he wrote about the things of daily life, and by the
simple act of listing and ordering these things, how he somehow infused them
with greater significance. (Above Right: photo of William Stafford attributed to Christopher Ritter)
Inspired by Stafford’s
poem, “What I Learned This Week,” is a curated list of ideas, images, thoughts
I had accumulated over the period of a week. At the time, I had just come back
from Manila after visiting my mother who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s
disease a few years prior. (Left Angela Narciso Torres and her mother Carmen in January of 2018)
To write this poem, I
literally went through pages of my journal and picked out lines I’d written
about things that happened to me or that I came across that week which seemed
to resonate with my emotional state then. In selecting the items, I was
consciously or not choosing events in nature that were in the process of death
or decay. I used these items to couch and somehow amplify the central theme of
the poem: the mother’s loss of memory/physical coordination/language and the
speaker’s yearning for connection with these aspects of the mother that were
slowly disappearing. Above Right - Angela Narciso Torres's journals.
In ordering the items
for the poem, I thought of something a poetry teacher (Mary Leader) (Left: photo attribution Sara Leader) once said about list
poems. She said a list poem should have an intrinsic logic in the mind of the
writer but unbeknownst to the reader. So on the surface, the list may look
random at first glance, but upon reading the poem more attentively, one feels a kind of inevitability in the order of things. In this case, I ordered the list
to build up, by accumulation, a sense of growing despair or heightening
emotion, peaking at scene between the mother and daughter. That section is the
longest “item” on the list of things the speaker learned that week, needless to
say, being the most significant to the speaker.
This is followed by the item about the thwarted peonies, which gives us a temporal marker for the speaker returning from the visit with the mother. So it still somehow continues the narrative while fulfilling the requirements of the list. (Right Paeonia suffruticosa, showing the disk that encloses the carpels.)
The last line, “A bud that does not bloom is called a bullet” is something that both ties in with the peonies line but also fits as a piece of “trivia” learned that week (which I did—though of course that’s inconsequential to the poem). The three hard “b” sounds (bud, bloom, bullet) in the final line gives a sense of closure while also echoing the earlier themes of decay, loss, impending death. (Left Painting attributed to Matt Torres)
This is followed by the item about the thwarted peonies, which gives us a temporal marker for the speaker returning from the visit with the mother. So it still somehow continues the narrative while fulfilling the requirements of the list. (Right Paeonia suffruticosa, showing the disk that encloses the carpels.)
The last line, “A bud that does not bloom is called a bullet” is something that both ties in with the peonies line but also fits as a piece of “trivia” learned that week (which I did—though of course that’s inconsequential to the poem). The three hard “b” sounds (bud, bloom, bullet) in the final line gives a sense of closure while also echoing the earlier themes of decay, loss, impending death. (Left Painting attributed to Matt Torres)
Which part of the poem was
the most emotional of you to write and why?
It’s easy to guess
that in this poem the most emotional part for me to write were the lines about
my mother. Sometimes it’s even hard for me to read that part aloud to an
audience without choking up. I still remember that moment I discovered my
mother and I still had that musical connection, even though her language was
mostly gone. We were sitting at the piano together and she literally started
plunking out the violin part on the piano keys (I was practicing the
accompaniment).
She used to accompany my Dad’s violin, but because she could no longer play, I became my Dad’s accompanist whenever I would go home to visit. This piece, Ave Maria by Bach-Gounod, was their favorite to play together. When she struggled to play those notes for the first time, I literally started shedding tears at the piano. One reason I think I chose the list poem to write about this heightened emotional experience is because the structure allows you to diffuse the focus a bit. I don’t think I could write about this moment in any other way that didn’t veer dangerously into sentimentality. (Left Angela's parents)
Click on the blue link to watch Angela and her father play Ave Maria by Bach-Gounod: https://www.facebook.com/
angela.n.torres/videos/10209267231931522/
She used to accompany my Dad’s violin, but because she could no longer play, I became my Dad’s accompanist whenever I would go home to visit. This piece, Ave Maria by Bach-Gounod, was their favorite to play together. When she struggled to play those notes for the first time, I literally started shedding tears at the piano. One reason I think I chose the list poem to write about this heightened emotional experience is because the structure allows you to diffuse the focus a bit. I don’t think I could write about this moment in any other way that didn’t veer dangerously into sentimentality. (Left Angela's parents)
Click on the blue link to watch Angela and her father play Ave Maria by Bach-Gounod: https://www.facebook.com/
angela.n.torres/videos/10209267231931522/
fading away. I suppose what I’d hope is that the reader experiences the power of a poem—in this age, a list poem which seems just a random list of facts—
to hold and preserve and even recreate an emotional experience. I hope they feel some of the original emotion that spurred this poem. As Frost (Left) once said, “No tears for the writer, no tears for the reader.” At the very least I hope they enjoy the pleasures of the list poem, and its potential to build, by
accumulation, an emotional effect. Lastly, I really hope they enjoy and appreciate the discovery of that last line as much as I did. Honestly, the line came to me like a surprise gift when I was writing this poem. Although it’s a botanical fact, I found it in a book of meditations by Mark Nepo (Right) which I happened to be reading at the time. Such is the magic of poetry.
Has this poem been published before?
And if so where?
WHAT I
LEARNED THIS WEEK
There are no more fireflies in Northern Indiana.
Marine life in Lake Erie is dying out because
fish are ingesting plastic microbeads used in
cosmetics to exfoliate dead skin. Yellow X’s mark
seven trees on our street that workers will axe
next week. Ash borers have eaten them alive
so they cannot absorb water or light. This week I learned
my mother is losing dexterity in both hands.
But when I play Bach’s Ave Maria on the piano,
she motions me to move her wheelchair closer.
She leans over the keyboard to try the melody, finding
the right notes each time. Her fingers can barely strike
the keys, but I hear them. Some say music memory
is the last to go. Still, I have no windfalls
for the empty baskets of my mother’s eyes.
When I returned from Manila, the peonies I’d left
in half-blossom were thwarted by summer storms.
A bud that will not bloom is called a bullet.
001 December 29, 2017
Margo Berdeshevksy’s “12-24”
002 January 08, 2018
Alexis Rhone Fancher’s “82 Miles From the Beach, We Order The
Lobster At Clear Lake Café”
003 January 12, 2018
Barbara Crooker’s “Orange”
004 January 22, 2018
Sonia Saikaley’s “Modern Matsushima”
005 January 29, 2018
Ellen Foos’s “Side Yard”
006 February 03, 2018
Susan Sundwall’s “The Ringmaster”
007 February 09, 2018
Leslea Newman’s “That Night”
008 February 17, 2018
Alexis Rhone Fancher “June Fairchild Isn’t Dead”
009 February 24, 2018
Charles Clifford Brooks III “The Gift of the Year With Granny”
010 March 03, 2018
Scott Thomas Outlar’s “Natural Reflection of Your Palms”
011 March 10, 2018
Anya
Francesca Jenkins’s “After Diane Beatty’s Photograph “History Abandoned”
https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2018/03/11-backstory-of-poem-after-diane.html
https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2018/03/11-backstory-of-poem-after-diane.html
012 March 17, 2018
Angela
Narciso Torres’s “What I Learned This Week”
https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2018/03/12-backstory-of-poem-series-angela.html
https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2018/03/12-backstory-of-poem-series-angela.html
013 March 24, 2018
Jan
Steckel’s “Holiday On ICE”
014 March 31, 2018
Ibrahim
Honjo’s “Colors”
https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2018/03/14-backstory-of-poem-ibrahim-honjos.html
015 April 14, 2018
Marilyn
Kallett’s “Ode to Disappointment”
https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2018/04/15-backstory-of-poem-ode-to_14.html
016 April 27, 2018
Beth
Copeland’s “Reliquary”
https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2018/04/16-backstory-of-poem-reliquary-by-beth.html
017 May 12, 2018
Marlon
L Fick’s “The Swallows of Barcelona”
https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2018/05/17-backstory-of-poem-swallows-of.html
018 May 25, 2018
Juliet
Cook’s “ARTERIAL DISCOMBOBULATION”
https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2018/05/18-backstory-of-poem-arterial.html
019 June 09, 2018
Alexis
Rhone Fancher’s “Stiletto Killer. . . A Surmise”
https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2018/06/19-backstory-of-poem-stiletto-killer.html
020 June 16, 2018
Charles
Rammelkamp’s “At Last I Can Start Suffering”
https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2018/06/20-backstory-of-poem-at-least-i-can.html
021 July 05, 2018
Marla
Shaw O’Neill’s “Wind Chimes”
022 July 13, 2018
Julia Gordon-Bramer’s
“Studying Ariel”
023 July 20, 2018
Bill Yarrow’s “Jesus
Zombie”
https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2018/07/23-backstory-of-poem-jesus-zombie-by.html
024 July 27, 2018
Telaina Eriksen’s “Brag
2016”
025 August 01, 2018
Seth Berg’s (It is only
Yourself that Bends – so Wake up!”
https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2018/08/25-backstory-of-poem-it-is-only.html
026 August 07, 2018
David Herrle’s “Devil In
the Details”