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****Vic Sizemore’s I LOVE YOU I’M
LEAVING is #62 in the never-ending series called INSIDE THE EMOTION OF FICTION where
the Chris Rice Cooper Blog (CRC)
focuses on one specific excerpt from a fiction genre and how that fiction
writer wrote that specific excerpt. All INSIDE THE EMOTION OF FICTION links
are at the end of this piece.
Name of
fiction work? And were there other names you considered that you would like to
share with us? The book’s title is I
Love You I’m Leaving. I didn’t consider any other titles for this
particular collection but the stories in it were configured in different ways
in two other collections, neither of which have been accepted for publication.
I decided to try to group them loosely based on a theme, and these stories are
obviously about leaving people/places you love, or being left by them.
Fiction
genre? Ex science fiction, short story,
fantasy novella, romance, drama, crime, plays, flash fiction, historical,
comedy, movie script, screenplay, etc.
And how many pages long? This collection is
literary fiction I guess, by which I simply mean character driven instead of
primarily plot driven. There’s always plot and the character’s act of course,
but the narrative drive of these stories is more dependent on changes taking
place within one or more of the characters than on external plot developments.
What is
the date you began writing this piece of fiction and the date when you
completely finished the piece of fiction? I wrote the
stories over the course of about ten years, beginning around 2007.
Can you
give the reader just enough information for them to understand what is going on
in the excerpt? A woman cannot afford to get her
driver’s license back after losing it because she was unable to pay a fine. In
an act of desperation, she flees a police officer in her van—her young children
are with her—and leads the officer on a high-speed chase that ends in tragedy.
Please
include the excerpt and include page numbers as reference. The excerpt can be as short or as long as you
prefer.
In
October, Nadine got a letter from the State of North Carolina Department of
Transportation:
Effective 12:01 a.m., 11/01/2010, your North
Carolina driving privilege is scheduled for an indefinite suspension in
accordance with general statute 20-24-1 for failure to appear… During this suspension, you are
prohibited from driving a motor vehicle in the State of North
Carolina.
She
laughed aloud. Fine, she thought.
Fuck you. I won’t drive in the State of
North Carolina. She crumpled the letter and threw it away.
The
van was hemorrhaging oil now. People stopped at lights to tell her that her motor was smoking, like she
couldn’t see it right there in front of her face. But it kept running.
A good van. She felt a genuine gratitude and affection for the poor old thing.
It was her freedom, that van, what kept her mobile, and, sure, she was thankful
for that. The kids weren’t getting sick.
They were as strong and resilient as mutt dogs, like poor kids usually
are. That much was a blessing too.
Her
hours stayed cut. She fell further behind on the bills. She got one cash advance, and then couldn’t pay it
back. Gas went up to $3.22 a gallon, and she could barely keep fuel in
the van, much less buy the one quart of oil it was bleeding into a black patch
of dirt in front of their house each week. She mixed water into the milk to
make it go farther. Bennie said, “This
tastes like piss.” She said, “No, it tastes like water.” But he kept drinking
it. The landlord dropped by some plastic that she and Bennie stapled
over the windows, and she was thankful he did
it while she was at work, so the matter of rent didn’t have to come up. She
blocked off the back room by nailing a blanket over the door so they wouldn’t have to heat it. They
blocked off the upstairs with plastic. They lived in the living room
and her bedroom, the four of them,
stayed close to the space heaters. It wasn’t so bad; it was cozy. They
played games and sang, and watched the two channels of fuzzy TV they could
still get. Cops was one of the shows they watched. Maddie and Rory called the show “Bad boys,
bad boys,” and cheered when it came on.
They
had some Ramen noodles and frozen chicken left from her last paycheck. They still had heat. She didn’t have any
money, but she still had $60.00 left on her overdraft
protection at the bank. That would feed them until she got paid again at the
beginning of November. North Carolina
could go fuck itself, she wasn’t paying them a damn thing; she
daydreamed about writing them a letter telling them as much. That would feel
good.
She
could have written them a letter that would have shamed them. She wasn’t stupid, and she’d done some
writing, had even taken a creative writing class one semester during her
two years over at State. She’d hated it.
All those little kids with money sitting inside those comfortable
walls talking about subtlety and insight, using words like epiphany and aha. They hadn’t liked her story about the guy
who made babies he didn’t
feed
and cooked meth in his grandmother’s
basement, and saw his best friend get shot dead by John Law, and then
went to prison while the Law razed his grandmother’s
house and
put a lien on her property to pay for it.
“It’s too
much,” her
classmates had told her. “It’s too
sensational.” The teacher had said,
“It’s like trying to carry an iron safe in a canoe.” “But it really happened,” she’d said. “That’s not the
point,” the teacher had told her. All the students who had written their little
boyfriend/girlfriend/coming-of-age stories had looked at her like she was the one who didn’t know
anything.
What
the fuck did they know about her world, where people didn’t have the luxury of sitting around
waiting for epiphanies to pop like soft little orgasms inside their heads—out in her world it was all wild and violent change. She’d dropped the class.
One semester after that she’d run out of
money for school anyway. Who was she kidding. Writing a letter wouldn’t do her any more good than writing a story. She had
other, more pressing, things to worry about.
Her
October paycheck was $772.00. That had to get them through November. Her choice
was to pay the rent, or buy food and gas so she could keep getting to work. She
could look under the van and see oil dripping steadily from two different
places now, and when she drove the smoke streamed white around the edges of her
hood like a steady smoldering fire under green leaves. The other day she drove
to the library in the rain to drop off movies. Walking across the parking lot she noticed the oil path she’d left on the
lot, a steady string of little rainbow explosions, kaplow,
plow, plow, leading right to her van.
When
she came back out, the oil rainbow had swirled from under the van all the way
to the silver Nissan beside her. The tire treads were worn smooth, and metal
shined through in spots, some places even splitting off in little wiry threads.
The next day, driving the kids to the Y before school, her hands trembled. She
knew it was only a matter of time and
they’d be stranded somewhere. She gripped the wheel and pressed
lightly on the gas, and willed the van to keep running.
Three
bills came in the mail that night: car insurance of $89.00 three times over,
plus an unspecified reinstatement fee (her inspection was due and she knew the van wouldn’t pass without work,
which she couldn’t afford); a cut off notice from the phone company if she didn’t get
them their $124.00 immediately; the electric bill for the last two months of
$170.93. Her heat was electric so she had to figure something out there. There
was also a letter from the West Virginia DMV. She tore it open and read:
Your privilege to operate motor vehicles in West
Virginia will be suspended effective December 1, 2010, at 12:01 a.m., because
North Carolina has filed with DMV the following non-compliance citation:
Citation
no: 3E43418
Date of citation: June 23, 2010
Court
telephone no: (704) 686-0600
Offense location: Charlotte
The reinstatement requirements listed in this
order may change without prior notice. Any fees owed to the state in which the
citation occurred should be paid to that state.
They were all in cahoots, the
fucking bastards. North Carolina had to have the $150.00, plus a $100.00 late
fee, plus whatever court costs would be, and now West Virginia had to have
$85.00 from her, and she had to go to the DMV and prove that she was in the
United States legally. Plus another $50.00 to the North Carolina Department of
Transportation, for whatever—pay
some alcoholic to prop himself up in the middle of the road on a stop sign. The
kids were all out front playing. Maddie rode her bike around the house, counting
the laps to Nadine every time. She rode by, barely keeping her balance. The
bike was too big. “One hundred and forty three,”
she said, which was a skip of about six laps. Rory sat on his yellow
school bus scooter with handles on top and kicked it up and down the sidewalk.
His little legs straightened
behind him like a swimming duck’s feet. Bennie was slamdunking
a volleyball on the low basketball rim down by the road. He looked up at her and shouted, “What’s for
dinner? I’m starving.” Rory echoed, “I’m starving.”
Inside
Nadine boiled the last three packets of beef Ramen noodles, only using two of
the flavor packs because Bennie acted like the taste made him gag. She had chicken thigh meat she’d boiled and frozen,
which she thawed and chopped up and mixed into the noodles for some protein.
She went to the front door and hollered that it was dinnertime. Rory lunged
sideward off his scooter and rolled in the grass. He pushed himself up and ran
for the door. Bennie walked. Maddie was around back on her bike. It was dark
outside now, but they were way out Davis Creek, with no one else around, except
this family of inbreds a ways down who shied off to themselves like a pack of
raccoons. She and the kids were safe out here. She could gather them in and
close the door; they had food; the heat was not cut off; she had four diapers
left for Rory: at least for this night, everything was okay.
Other
works you have published? I’ve published a number of
stories and essays in literary journals. I have an essay collection about
leaving conservative evangelical Christianity coming out in March, 2020 with
The University of Alabama Press.
INSIDE THE EMOTION OF
FICTION links
001 11 15 2018 Nathaniel
Kaine’s
Thriller Novel
John
Hunter – The Veteran
002 11 18 2018 Ed
Protzzel’s
Futuristic/Mystery/Thriller
The
Antiquities Dealer
003 11 23 2018 Janice
Seagraves’s
Science
Fiction Romance
Exodus
Arcon
004 11 29 2018
Christian Fennell’s
Literary
Fiction Novel
The Fiddler
in the Night
005 12 02 2018 Jessica
Mathews’s
Adult
Paranormal Romance
Death
Adjacent
006 12 04 2018 Robin Jansen’s
Literary
Fiction Novel
Ruby the
Indomitable
007 12 12 2018 Adair Valerez’s
Literary
Fiction Novel
Scrim
008 12 17 218
Kit Frazier’s
Mystery Novel
Dead Copy
009 12 21 2019 Robert Craven’s
Noir/Spy Novel
The Road
of a Thousand Tigers
010 01 13 2019 Kristine Goodfellow’s
Contemporary
Romantic Fiction
The Other
Twin
011 01 17 2019 Nancy J Cohen’s
Cozy Mystery
Trimmed To
Death
012 01 20 2019 Charles Salzberg’s
Crime Novel
Second
Story Man
013 01 23 2019 Alexis Fancher’s
Flash Fiction
His Full
Attention
014 01 27 2019 Brian L Tucker’s
Young Adult/Historical
POKEWEED: AN ILLUSTRATED NOVELLA
015 01 31 2019 Robin Tidwell’s
Dystopian
Reduced
016 02 07 2019 J.D. Trafford’s
Legal
Fiction/Mystery
Little Boy
Lost
017 02 08 2019 Paula Shene’s
Young Adult
ScieFi/Fantasy/Romance/Adventure
My Quest
Begins
018 02 13 2019 Talia Carner’s
Mainstream
Fiction/ Suspense/ Historical
Hotel
Moscow
019 02 15 2019 Rick Robinson’s
Multidimensional
Fiction
Alligator
Alley
020 02 21 2019 LaVerne Thompson’s
Urban Fantasy
The Soul
Collectors
021 02 27 2019 Marlon L Fick’s
Post-Colonialist
Novel
The
Nowhere Man
022 03 02 2019 Carol Johnson’s
Mainstream
Novel
Silk And
Ashes
023 03 06 2019 Samuel Snoek-Brown’s
Short Story
Collection
There Is
No Other Way to Worship Them
024 03 08 2019 Marlin Barton’s
Short Story
Collection
Pasture
Art
025 03 18 2019 Laura Hunter’s
Historical
Fiction
Beloved
Mother
026 03 21 2019 Maggie Rivers’s
Romance
Magical
Mistletoe
027 03 25 2019 Faith
Gibson’s
Paranormal
Romance
Rafael
028 03 27 2019 Valerie Nieman’s
Tall Tale
To The
Bones
029 04 04 2019 Betty Bolte’s
Paranormal
Romance
Veiled
Visions of Love
030 04 05 2019 Marianne
Maili’s
Tragicomedy
Lucy, go
see
031 04 10 2019 Gregory Erich Phillips’s
Mainstream
Fiction
The Exile
032 04 15 2019 Jason Ament’s
Speculative
Fiction
Rabid Dogs
033 04 24 2019 Stephen P. Keirnan’s
Historical
Novel
The
Baker’s Secret
034 05 01 2019 George Kramer’s
Fantasy
Arcadis:
Prophecy Book
035 05 05 2019 Erika Sams’s
Adventure/Fantasy/Romance
Rose of Dance
036 05 07 2019 Mark Wisniewski’s
Literary
Fiction
Watch Me
Go
037 05 08 2019 Marci Baun’s
Science
Fiction/Horror
The
Whispering House
038 05 10 2019 Suzanne M. Wolfe’s
Historical
Fiction
Murder By
Any Name
039 05 12 2019 Edward DeVito’s
Historical/Fantasy
The
Woodstock Paradox
040 05 14 2019 Gytha Lodge’s
Literary/Crime
She Lies
In Wait
041 05 16 2019 Kari Bovee’s
Historical
Fiction/Mystery
Peccadillo
At The Palace: An Annie Oakley Mystery
042 05 20 2019 Annie Seaton’s
Time Travel
Romance
Follow Me
043 05 22 2019 Paula Rose Michelson’s
Inspirational
Christian Romance
Rosa &
Miguel – Love’s Legacy: Prequel to The Naomi
Chronicles
044 05 24 2019 Gracie C McKeever’s
BDMS/Interracial
Romance
On The
Edge
045 06 03 2019 Micheal Maxwell’s
Mystery
The Soul
of Cole
046 06 04 2019 Jeanne Mackin’s
Historical
The Last
Collection: A Novel of Elsa Schiaparelli
and
Coco
Chanel
047 06 07 2019 Philip Shirley’s
Suspense/Thriller
The
Graceland Conspiracy
048 06 08 2019 Bonnie Kistler’s
Domestic
Suspense
The House
on Fire
049 06 13 2019 Barbara Taylor Sissel’s
Domestic
Suspense/Family Drama
Tell No
One
050 06 18 2019 Charles Salzberg’s
Short Story/
Crime Fiction
“No Good Deed” from Down to the River
051 06 19 2019 Rita Dragonette’s
Historical
Fiction
The
Fourteenth of September
052 06 20 2019 Nona
Caspers’s
Literary
Novel/Collage
The Fifth
Woman
053 06 26 2019 Jeri Westerson’s
Paranormal
Romance
Shadows in
the Mist
054 06 28 2019 Brian Moreland’s
Horror
The
Devil’s Woods
055 06 29 2019
Epic Fantasy
Wings
Unseen
056 07 02 2019 Randee Green’s
Mystery Novel
Criminal
Misdeeds
057 07 03 2019 Saralyn Ricahrd’s
Mystery Novel
Murder In
The One Percent
#058 07 04 2019 Hannah Mary McKinnon’s
Domestic Suspense
Her Secret
Son
#059 07 05 2019 Sonia Saikaley’s
Contemporary
Women’s Literature
The
Allspice Bath
#060 07 09 2019 Olivia Gaines’s
Romance
Suspense Serial
Blind Luck
#061 07 11 2019 Anne Raeff’s
Literary
Fiction
Winter
Kept Us Warm
#062 07 12 2918 Vic Sizemore’s
Literary Fiction-Short Stories
Literary Fiction-Short Stories
I Love You
I’m Leaving
