Friday, September 7, 2018

Guest Blog Post by The Woman With The God-Shaped Void . . .



*The images in this specific piece are granted copyright privilege by:  Public Domain, CCSAL, GNU Free Documentation Licenses, Fair Use Under The United States Copyright Law, or given copyright privilege by the copyright holder which is identified beneath the individual photo.

**Some of the links will have to be copied and then posted in your search engine in order to pull up properly

Guest Blog Post by the Woman with the God-Shaped Void

       Everyone is born with a God-shaped void and what we do to try to fill that void is where our journey begins.  For me, I was baptized when I was nine years old, but did not continue to walk in the light my entire journey (1 John 1:5-7).  I am so thankful for our God who seals us and out of His grace, love and mercy, calls us His own the moment we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior.  Even when I wasn’t giving God my best, He was always there, waiting for my repentance. (Right:  artwork and copyright permission by Christal Ann Rice Cooper for this CRC Blog Post Only)
     
  In middle school, I had some friends who convinced me that self-harm was the way to take pain from your heart and put it elsewhere.  I fell for this lie that satan wanted me, and several other classmates, to believe.  My intention was not ever to kill myself, but I tried it because that is what I thought would help any pain in my childish heart.  Thankfully, I quickly grew out of it, but this is where I began to notice the voids my heart longed to fill. (Left:  Art work and copyright permission by Christal Ann Rice Cooper for this CRC Blog Post Only)
       Throughout high school and college, the feelings of these voids intensified.  As most others, I tried to fill it with boys, friends, hobbies, jobs, and new adventures.  I searched and searched and searched.  The beautiful thing is that, although I was unaware, God went with me in all of my searching.  The days where I could hardly breath because I cried so hard in disappointment, the days where I partied way too hard and felt miserable, and the days where I obsessed over the thrills of attention from others:  He was there. (Right:  Artwork and copyright by Christal Ann Rice Cooper for this CRC Blog Post Only) 
      
After jumping around to four different schools, I basically decided to stop searching for fulfillment in schooling and careers.  My boyfriend of three year proposed and off we went on new adventures in marriage.  After high school, we had a lot of relationship issues as we settled into the college life.  We shrugged it off as ‘normal’ and went on thinking that marriage would just fix it all. 
We thought that surely, it would fill our voids.  It did not.  So, we decided to get pregnant and thought that would again, fix us.  Four months into having a newborn we hit rock bottom.  I’m talking storming-around-the-house-yelling-and-hating-each-other kind of rock bottom.  I pictured ‘For Sale’ signs going up in our front yard as we talked about getting a divorce.  I wanted out and I wanted the grass that appeared greener on the other side.  My parents told me differently, which became our saving grace.  When I packed up myself and our newborn to go stay with my parents, they told me I needed to go home and fix it.  So, for some reason, I went back home.
      
We started counseling and then God really started softening our hearts.  This was a point in our lives where God put us on our faces.  It was at the lowest point that God got us to realize that we needed to turn over and look at HIM and HIM ALONE to fill our voids.  He was the only thing that could fix us.
       My mom gave me some advice: put on the local Christian radio station and never turn it off.  So, I took her advice, yet again.  As I faced dark day after miserable day, I started to notice a song that was always playing when I got into my car.  The title was “Strong Enough” by Matthew West.
(https://search.aol.com/aol/video;_ylt=AwrWnfZJ045bKhoArTNjCWVH?q=matthew+west+%22strong+enough%22&v_t=comsearch&s_it=searchtabs#action=view&id=1&vid=4f84bde693f1690fbdd79c60a6d10542)


To say I was completely annoyed at how many times this song was on, is an understatement.  There is a day, however, when the song fulfilled its purpose and I will never forget it.  I got into my car and, of course, it was on the radio.  I went to smack my radio and violently changed the station when it was as if there was a glass wall that stopped me.  God grabbed my attention.  The lyrics of the song “I know I’m not strong enough to be everything that I’m supposed to be.  I give up.  I’m not strong enough” finally hit me.

       Days after this encounter both my husband and I went to a small group at our church.  And because God is just so cool and works miracles, the lesson that day happened to be on depending on God for your strength!  Just like He had grabbed my attention a few days earlier, that morning He specifically called me back to Him.  I remember Him blocking out all of the other voices in our room and He spoke directly to me.  He said, “I love you.  I have not forsaken you.  I have been right here the whole time.  You don’t have to keep running.  I am your strength.”  I burst into tears and the rest of the morning was spent weeping with Christ as we were both flipped upward and saw God right before us.  Together, we realized that God was the answer to everything and in Him we could be whole.
        
Although it has taken several years to heal from the hard times we went through, we know God isn’t done yet.  He purposefully gives us rainy and dry seasons (James 1:2-3) to draw us closer to Him, learn to be more like Him, and give Him glory through it all.  
        In my heart and soul, I no longer feel the longing for something more because God is the only One who can and has truly satisfied all of my hopes, dreams and desires.  I know that life will not always be easy, but He has filled me with a peace that surpasses all understanding
(Philippians 4:7) and a strength where nothing is impossible with Him (Philippians 4:13).  I am so thankful for the people who prayed us through our journey and all glory be to God for loving us more than we will ever be able to grasp.

God is magnificent; He can never be praised enough.
There are no boundaries to his greatness.
Psalm 145:3

So do not fear, for I am with you;
     Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
   I will uphold you with My righteous right hand
Isaiah 41:10

I will be with you
When you pass through the waters
And when you pass through the rivers,
They will not overwhelm you.
You will not be scorched
When you walk through the fire,
And the flame will not burn you.
Isaiah 43:2
   

Thursday, August 30, 2018

#29 Backstory of the Poem "Faces in a Crowd" by Mary Harwell Sayler. .



*The images in this specific piece are granted copyright privilege by:  Public Domain, CCSAL, GNU Free Documentation Licenses, Fair Use Under The United States Copyright Law, or given copyright privilege by the copyright holder which is identified beneath the individual photo.

**Some of the links will have to be copied and then posted in your search engine in order to pull up properly

***This is the twenty-ninth in a never-ending series called BACKSTORY OF THE POEM where the Chris Rice Cooper Blog (CRC) focuses on one specific poem and how the poet wrote that specific poem.  All BACKSTORY OF THE POEM links are at the end of this piece. 

*Title Photo Mary Harwell Sayler in September of 2015.  Copyright permission granted by Mary Harwell Sayler for this CRC Blog Post Only



#29 Backstory of the Poem
“Faces in a Crowd”
by Mary Harwell Sayler

Can you go through the step-by-step process of writing this poem from the moment the idea was first conceived in your brain until final form?  As happens with almost every poem I write, an opening line suddenly came to me, and as soon as I wrote it down, other lines followed. It's often a mysterious process for me since I typically write from a place of listening and heeding, rather than thinking. However, the poems that follow usually have a way of putting into the forefront what I'd been mulling over, subconsciously. (Above and Below: Copyright permission and artwork attributed to Christal Ann Rice Cooper for this CRC Blog Post Only) 


For example, I'd been noticing, in the media and elsewhere, how people frequently seem to be looking for ways to read the future without bothering to pay attention to the present! Then, when they do notice someone right in front of them, they might just focus on the person's flaws and failures with no insight, empathy, or interest in the symptoms shown. In people-watching and observing men, for instance, I find that fear, worry, frustration, and sadness generally register on their faces as one emotion - anger, whereas women more readily express a greater range. Whether that's true or not, my poem seemed to think so as all of the above converged into the poem, "Faces in a Crowd." (Above Right:  Copyright permission and artwork attributed to Christal Ann Rice Cooper for this CRC Blog Post Only) 

Where were you when you started to actually write the poem?  And please describe the place in detail.  For this particular poem, I was at my desktop computer. Quite often, though, my poems begin in one of two places: in bed immediately on waking or on our deck, overlooking woods and a small lake active with wildlife. (Left: Copyright permission granted by Mary Harwell Sayler for this CRC Blog Post Only)

What month and year did you start writing this poem?  The poem began in February, 2014, and once its flow had ceased, I let the poem sit and went on to other writing projects. When I returned to it, I did a little tweaking then revised it a couple of years later. (Right: Mary Harwell Sayler in October 2014.  Copyright permission granted by Mary Harwell Sayler for this CRC Blog Post Only) 

How many drafts of this poem did you write before going to the final?   That's a hard question to answer, Christal, as I often spend hours playing with single words or phrases in the early instances of a poem. Sometimes I'm looking for a word that's more precise. Other times I'm listening to the play of assonance or consonance then trying to find an apt synonym that adds sound echoes to the poem. (Left:  Mary Harwell Sayler in her office in September 2016.  Attributed to her grandson.  Copyright permission granted by Mary Harwell Sayler for this CRC Blog Post Only) 

I seldom keep track of those revisions or ones when I play around with line breaks that might better emphasize certain words or sounds, but those are the concerns that set me in a revising mode. Also, if a poem is too long, I'll almost always find ways to tighten and shorten the lines. Beyond those types of changes though, I rarely make major revisions that I like better than the original. Instead, I'll give each poem my full attention when it first arrives, and if everything clicks, I'll send it off to a journal or e-zine. If not, I'll come back to it months - maybe years later - and "suddenly" know what to do. (Right Mary Harwell Sayler's office.  Copyright permission granted by Mary Harwell Sayler for this CRC Blog Post Only)

Were there any lines in any of your rough drafts of this poem that were not in the final version?  And can you share them with us?  Sure. I usually write, tweak, and revise in my Word file now, rather than pencil and paper, but, for you, I printed out the original version of "Faces in a Crowd" and showed the changes made for the final draft. That said, the "original" might have had other words substituted, added, or omitted, but the basic poem is as shown. (Left:  Rough draft of "Faces in a Crowd."  Copyright permission granted by Mary Harwell Sayler for this CRC Blog Post Only)

What do you want readers of this poem to take from this poem?  I'd love to see people slow down, pay attention to one another, and give each other the benefit of the doubt. Who knows what joys and miseries someone else has had to bear? We're all in this life together, and I pray we begin to help and encourage one another instead of the present lamentable habit of tearing each other down. (Right:  Mary Harwell Sayler in October of 2010.  Copyright permission granted by Mary Harwell Sayler for this CRC Blog Post Only) 

Has this poem been published before?  And if so where?
 Yes. When I realized I had enough "people" poems for a book, "Faces in a Crowd" became the title poem for a book published in 2016.




What do you hope to accomplish with your poetry?  Actually, I didn't think much about this for many years. As a freelance and assignment writer for most of my adult life, I wrote a number of books in all genres with a specific theme and purpose for each. I wrote all sorts of articles, children's stories, and devotionals, too, while my poems sat around in a file that kept expanding. Then, it occurred to me that most of my poems had developed some kind of theme or purpose on their own! So I went through my Word file and typed one or more labels for each poem, identifying them as "nature," "faith," "people," "social comment," "humor," "children's poem," etc.  Not long after that, I placed some poems with an e-zine and learned the publisher was also interested in books of nature-oriented poems. So I did a "nature" word search and found more than enough poems for a book entitled Living in the Nature Poem, which Hiraeth Press published in 2012 but recently went out of print.


The idea for that book wasn't just the nature theme but also the hope of having readers gain or increase their love for nature. Using a similar process of search-and-gather, I collected my Bible-based people poems into the book Outside Eden to show we all live in essentially the same place - outside paradise, trying to get back in. In 2014, Kelsay Books published that collection and also my little book of nature poems for children, Beach Songs & Wood Chimes. Then, for about a year, I felt urged to practice praising God for everything (yes, everything!), and in 2017, Cladach Publishing released my praise poems and contemporary psalms (including laments) in the book PRAISE!

In between, I self-published Faces in a Crowd with my remaining "people" poems, many of which had first appeared in poetry journals, to show the common and uncommon experiences uniting us. And, in 2017, I self-published Lost in Faith with poems that realistically address the struggles and doubts we all encounter, but with the strong purpose of letting readers know: God cares!


I maintain a website in my name (http://marysayler.com) which includes an email form, my mailing address, and hotlinks to my books, online writings, and social media profiles. In addition, my website lists numerous resources with hotlinks to help other poets and writers. (Left:  Web Logo Photo attributed and copyright permission granted by Mary Harwell Sayler for this CRC Blog Post Only) 

What suggestions do you have for other poets and writers?  Read, read in your favorite writing genre! 
If you're serious about writing well-written, publishable poems, study art forms and techniques that work well, for instance, as shown in my e-books, Christian Poet's Guide to Writing Poetry: in free verse and traditional forms and also the A to Z guide, Poetry Dictionary For Children and For Fun. 

Read aloud every poem and every revision. 

Be honest with yourself as you consider each poem's clarity, freshness, and readability. 

Give your poems the time they desire to be the best they can be. They're worth it!

*Below: artwork and copyright permission granted by Christal Ann Rice Cooper for this CRC Blog Post Only 

Faces in a Crowd

Why trouble yourself with tea leaves
or try to discern the lines in a palm
when you can read faces?

See how the dark centers
of her eyes light up only
as she looks at children?
And watch her cornered 
mouth turn down
even as she laughs.

Hard times cannot be hidden
beneath a cut of hair
nor foundations concealed
with makeup meant to attract
a man, but consider him:

Can you see
that forlorn little boy,
alone,
waiting to be remembered
inside the grown man,
caught now
in clouds of anger?



BACKSTORY OF THE POEM LINKS

001  December 29, 2017
Margo Berdeshevksy’s “12-24”

002  January 08, 2018
Alexis Rhone Fancher’s “82 Miles From the Beach, We Order The Lobster At Clear Lake Café”

003 January 12, 2018
Barbara Crooker’s “Orange”

004 January 22, 2018
Sonia Saikaley’s “Modern Matsushima”

005 January 29, 2018
Ellen Foos’s “Side Yard”

006 February 03, 2018
Susan Sundwall’s “The Ringmaster”

007 February 09, 2018
Leslea Newman’s “That Night”

008 February 17, 2018
Alexis Rhone Fancher “June Fairchild Isn’t Dead”

009 February 24, 2018
Charles Clifford Brooks III “The Gift of the Year With Granny”

010 March 03, 2018
Scott Thomas Outlar’s “The Natural Reflection of Your Palms”

011 March 10, 2018
Anya Francesca Jenkins’s “After Diane Beatty’s Photograph “History Abandoned”

012  March 17, 2018
Angela Narciso Torres’s “What I Learned This Week”

013 March 24, 2018
Jan Steckel’s “Holiday On ICE”

014 March 31, 2018
Ibrahim Honjo’s “Colors”

015 April 14, 2018
Marilyn Kallett’s “Ode to Disappointment”

016  April 27, 2018
Beth Copeland’s “Reliquary”

017  May 12, 2018
Marlon L Fick’s “The Swallows of Barcelona”

018  May 25, 2018
Juliet Cook’s “ARTERIAL DISCOMBOBULATION”

019  June 09, 2018
Alexis Rhone Fancher’s “Stiletto Killer. . . A Surmise”

020 June 16, 2018
Charles Rammelkamp’s “At Last I Can Start Suffering”

021  July 05, 2018
Marla Shaw O’Neill’s “Wind Chimes”

022 July 13, 2018
Julia Gordon-Bramer’s “Studying Ariel”

023 July 20, 2018
Bill Yarrow’s “Jesus Zombie”

024  July 27, 2018
Telaina Eriksen’s “Brag 2016”

025  August 01, 2018
Seth Berg’s “It is only Yourself that Bends – so Wake up!”

026  August 07, 2018
David Herrle’s “Devil In the Details”

027  August 13, 2018
Gloria Mindock’s “Carmen Polo, Lady Necklaces, 2017”

028  August 21, 2018
Connie Post’s “Two Deaths”

029  August 30, 2018