Ivelisse Rodriguez’s short story “The Belindas” from her short story collection LOVE WAR STORIES is #172 in the never-ending series called INSIDE THE EMOTION OF FICTION

Chris Rice Cooper 

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****Ivelisse Rodriguez’s short story “The Belindas” from her short story collection LOVE WAR STORIES is #172 in the never-ending series called INSIDE THE EMOTION OF FICTION where the Chris Rice Cooper Blog (CRC) focuses on one specific excerpt from a fiction genre and how that fiction writer wrote that specific excerpt.  All INSIDE THE EMOTION OF FICTION links are at the end of this piece

Name of fiction work? And were there other names you considered that you would like to share with us? The name of my debut short story collection is Love War Stories. Yes, it was previously called I Just Want to be a Woman, but this was a clunky title, and while I took the title from a Portishead song, I didn’t want that to be the easy association.

What is the date you began writing this piece of fiction and the date when you completely finished the piece of fiction? Well, I started the first story in the book in the fall of 1996. I would say that I finished the book in August 2017, when I did last minute edits and sent to my editor. I spent 6.5 years in an MFA program and a PhD program, so I was definitely working on the stories then, and throughout this 21-year span, but, clearly there was a lot of time spent not writing. So, I don’t want to scare anyone with this number of years.

Where did you do most of your writing for this fiction work?  And please describe in detail.  And can you please include a photo? I usually write in bed. I sometimes sit at my desk, but that is rare. My mom would kill me if I sent you a picture of my messy bed. It is an adjustable, king-size, memory foam bed (I had back surgery.) So I sit up with many pillows against my back. There are way too many remotes on the bed, snacks, a box of tissues (I’m gross).... There is also a canopy over my bed, and my beloved Stefan Salvatore pillow is under the canopy.

What were your writing habits while writing this work- did you drink something as you wrote, listen to music, write in pen and paper, directly on laptop; specific time of day? I usually turn my ringer off and set a timer. I shouldn’t, but I usually have the TV on or the super-quietness makes the process feel too lonely. I usually write on my laptop, though when I am stuck, I will write by hand as I find it more freeing. I try not to eat while I work as it becomes a distraction. I usually work better at night as no one is normally texting or emailing me.

Please include just one excerpt and include page numbers as reference.  This one excerpt can be as short or as long as you prefer.

This is an excerpt from “The Belindas” (pgs. 110-112).

♥

My heart is on my face.

David comes back in the room, but I look at the pictures on my wall—they depict my life. There is no photo of this, though. The sting of the slap still splatters across my face. I keep my hand on my cheek to localize the pain. All the rage displayed in his face, in his hands, gone. He is slumped, empty, depleted of all anger. Just like that. Like a faucet turned off and on by careless hands. He kneels in front of me and nuzzles his head toward my stomach. There is no sound in the room because I stopped crying as he moved toward me. His hands touch me, not the same hands of a few minutes ago or even a few hours ago.

“Belinda,” he says.

I used to love when he touched me with those hands. But now they sting and make me someone else.

“Belinda, sweetie, I love you. I’m so sorry.” His words catch in his throat. Belinda, Belinda has melted down between our fingers.

“I love you, I love you,” he keeps saying.

Even though my face is covered, my protective hand on my cheek, the pain runs through me. This pain and my body meet and bend me at their will. A silent reel begins to play in my head. There is a girl, smashed, imploding. There is stop, start. There is before. There is after.

Soon his head on my stomach turns into his mouth

kissing my belly, his lips crawling upward until he gets

up from his kneeling position in front of me, and I have

to move so he can lie next to me.

I used to love his hands. They are stubby, almost

incomplete. Masculine, chalky, dry hands. But how they

held me firm. His kisses, his touch—now surface-level.

But how they seal my shame.

“Open your eyes,” he says. “I love you. I really do.

Do you love me?” I don’t want to answer. But he keeps

asking, so I nod my head.

“Say it,” he says.

I turn my face to the wall. This is my hour of grieving. But there is no privacy. I am watching this happen. Two bodies on this bed. I am this girl. Her cries pick up again and are a whisper. Her eyes are closed. She wants to be alone. He lies back down, his hands neatly folded on his stomach, gentle, almost asleep, before he turns to his side and puts his hand on her leg, kisses her back. Soon his hands are fondling her breasts. His insistence grows. He turns her face to his. Doggedly kissing her lips.

He stops kissing me, sits up and says, “You can hit me.

Here. Hit me right here.” I ponder the offer. Would we be on equal footing again? In number theory there are perfect numbers. A six divided by one, two, three can also be a six added from one, two, three. What divides can also add back to the original whole. I watch my movie instead, and I hit rewind. Untrueness wins out. Let us enter a new world. A world where what has just happened does not exist. My hand slithers toward him. I am no longer this girl. I don’t know him, I don’t know me. I slide my hand over the cracked shell of his face. It all disappears, falls apart under my touch. My lips part slightly as his inevitably inch toward mine and I kiss him like that night he took me to Ollie’s and asked me to be his girlfriend. He seems relieved, like I have forgiven him. He is more shattered than I thought, a man made up of pieces that don’t connect. He tries to get on top of me, but I push him away. I get on top of him. As I clap my thighs around him, I try to hold us together.

Why is this excerpt so emotional for you as a writer to write?  And can you describe your own emotional experience of writing this specific excerpt? This excerpt was emotional for me to write as I have to write something that will make me cry. Emotions are tough to convey as you don’t want to end up in melodrama land, so you have to keep fine-tuning the text until it gives you the right feelings. You want to aim for realism. You want to put yourself in that scene and really feel it, and you have to keep doing this over and over again, until you hit the right note. So, as the writer, I’m mired in this sadness, this estrangement from oneself, and the complication of being a victim of domestic violence. And there is no way out of this until I am satisfied with every single word.

Were there any deletions from this excerpt that you can share with us? And can you please include a photo of your marked up rough drafts of this excerpt. Hmm, I looked at the draft labeled “August 2010”, and this scene seems pretty similar. I used to have marked up copies of the text, but I threw them all out once my book was published. But I usually bracket things I don’t like, I write snarky notes to myself in the margins, I circle words I don’t like, I look for grammar errors, etc.

Born in Arecibo, Puerto Rico, Ivelisse Rodriguez grew up in Holyoke, Massachusetts. She earned a B.A. in English from Columbia University, an M.F.A. in creative writing from Emerson College, and a Ph.D. in English-creative writing from the University of Illinois at Chicago.

Her short story collection, Love War Stories, a 2019 PEN/Faulkner finalist and a 2018 Foreword Reviews INDIES finalist, was published by The Feminist Press in summer 2018. 

Her fiction chapbook The Belindas was published in 2017.

She has also published fiction in All about Skin: Short Fiction by Women of Color, Obsidian, Label Me Latina/o, Kweli, the Boston Review, the Bilingual Review, Aster(ix), and other publications.

She is the founder and editor of an interview series, published in Centro Voices, the e-magazine of the Center for Puerto Rican Studies at Hunter College, focused on contemporary Puerto Rican writers in order to highlight the current status and the continuity of a Puerto Rican literary tradition from the continental US that spans over a century.

She was a senior fiction editor at Kweli and is a Kimbilio fellow and a VONA/Voices alum. She is currently working on the novel ‘The Last Salsa Singer’ about 70s era salsa musicians in Puerto Rico.

https://www.ivelisserodriguez.com/

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Dark Fantasy/Horror

“DEATH & DUST: THE PALE SAND ADVENTURES”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/11/95-inside-emotion-of-fiction-death-dust.html

#96 11 04 2019 Caroline Leavitt’s

Fiction

“WITH OR WITHOUT YOU”

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/11/96-inside-emotion-of-fiction-with-or.html

#97 11 06 2019 Kelsey Clifton’s

Science Fiction

“A DAY OUT OF TIME”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/11/97-inside-emotion-of-fiction-day-out-of.html

#098 11 13 2019 John F Allen’s

Urban Fantasy Tale

“The God Killers’
https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/11/98-inside-emotion-of-fiction-god.html

#99 11 16 2019 Damian McNicholl’s

Historical Novel

“The Moment of Truth”

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/11/99-inside-emotion-of-fiction-moment-of.html

#100 11 19 2019 Stacia Levy’s

Mystery/Suspense Novel

“Girl Crush”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/11/100-inside-emotion-of-fiction-girl.html

#101 11 24 2019 Charlotte Morgan’s

Fiction Novel

“Protecting Elvis”

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/11/101-inside-emotion-of-fiction.html

#102 11 26 2019 T. L. Moore’s

Children’s Christian Fiction

“Ed On My Shoulder:  Maria & The Candy Trail”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/11/102-inside-emotion-of-fiction-ed-on-my.html

#103 11 27 2019 Jeanne McWilliams Blasberg’s

Coming of Age Literary Novel

The Nine

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/11/103-inside-emotion-of-fiction-nine-by.html

#104 11 29 2019 Charlotte Blackwell’s

Adult Paranormal

“MYSTIC EMBRACE”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/11/104-inside-emotion-of-fiction-mystic.html

#105 12 07 2019 Mike Burrell’s

Satire Novel

“THE LAND OF GRACE”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/12/105-inside-emotion-of-fiction-land-of.html

#106 12 09 2019 Phil McCarron’s

Screenplay

“Escapement”

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/12/106-inside-emotion-of-fiction.html

#107 12 11 2019 Wendy H. Jones’s

Crime Fiction/Police Procedural Novel

“KILLER’S COUNTDOWN”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/12/107-inside-emotion-of-fiction-killers.html

#108 12 13 2019 Sandra Arnold’s

Historical Literary Fiction

“The Ash, the Well and the Blue Bell”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/12/1

8-inside-emotion-of-fiction-ash-well.html

#109 12 16 2019 Amalia Carosella’s

Historical/Contemporary/Duel Timeline/ Women’s

Fiction

“DAUGHTER OF A THOUSAND YEARS”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/12/109-inside-emotion-of-fiction-daughter_17.html

#110 12 19 2019 Laura Bickle’s

Weird Western/Contemporary Fantasy

“DARK ALCHEMY”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/12/110-inside-emotion-of-fiction-dark.html

#111 12 27 2019 Brian Pinkerton’s

Science Fiction Thriller

“THE GEMINI EXPERIMENT”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/12/111-inside-emotion-of-fiction-gemini.html

#112  12 28 2019 Sandra de Helen’s

Lesbian Thriller

“TILL DARKNESS COMES”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/12/112-inside-emotion-of-fiction-till.html

#113 12 29 2019 Jo Wilde’s

Vampire Thriller

“THE CROSSING”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/12/113-inisde-emotion-of-fiction-crossing.html

#114 12 30 2019 Sam Richard’s

Short Story Collection of Weird and Transgressive

Horror

“To Wallow In Ash and Sorrows”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/12/114-inside-emotion-of-fiction-to-wallow.html

#115 12 31 2019 Duncan B Barlow’s

Literary Fiction Novel

“A DOG BETWEEN US”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2019/12/inside-emotion-of-fiction-dog-between.html

#116 01 02 2020 Allison Landa’s

Young Adult Novel

“BAD HAIR”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/01/116-inside-emotion-of-fiction-bad-hair.html

#117 01 03 2020 Pablo Medina’s

Literary Satire Novel

“THE CUBAN COMEDY”

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/01/117-inside-emotion-of-fiction-cuban.html

#118 01 06 2020 William Trent Pancoast’s

Historical/Literary Novel

“THE ROAD TO MATEWAN”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/01/118-inside-emotion-of-fiction-road-to.html

#119 01 07 2020 Jane Bernstein’s

Contemporary Novel

“The Face Tells the Secret”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/01/119-inside-emotion-of-fiction-face.html

#120 01 09 2020 Terry Kroenung’s

Young Adult, Historical and Fantasy

“Brimstone And Lily”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/01/120-inside-emotion-of-fiction-brimstone.html

#121 01 12 2020 Melissa Yi’s

Fiction Thriller

“GRAVEYARD SHIFT”

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/01/121-inside-emotion-of-fiction-melissa.html

#122 01 15 2020 Marcie R. Rendon’s

Crime Thriller

“GIRL GONE MISSING”

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/01/122-inside-emotion-of-fiction-girl-gone.html

#123 01 16 2020 Tori Eldridge’s

Multi Genre Novel

“THE NINJA DAUGHTER”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/01/123-inside-emotion-of-fiction-ninja.html

#124 01 17 2020 Kristen Joy Wilks’s

Christian Romantic Comedy

“YELLOWSTONE YONDERING”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/01/124

inside-emotion-of-fiction.html

#125 01 20 2020 Susan C. Shea’s

Cozy Mystery

“DRESSED FOR DEATH IN BURGUNDY”

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/01/125-inside-emotion-of-fiction-dressed.html

#126  01 22 2020 Phong Nguyen’s

Improvisational Fiction

“ROUDABOUT”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/01/126-inside-emotion-of-fiction.html

#127 01 23 2020 Kate Thornton’s

Mystery Short Story In Its Entirety

“Ai Witness”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/01/127-inside-emotion-of-fiction-ai.html

#128 01 24 2020 Phil McCarron’s

Semi Fictional Essays

“The Great Facepalm: The Farce of 21^st Century

Normality”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/01/128-inside-emotion-of-fiction-great.html

#129  01 27 2020 Kenneth Weene’s

Historicized Literary Fiction

“Red And White”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/01/129-inside-emotion-of-fiction-red-and.html

#130 01 28 2020 Graham Storrs’s

Science Fiction Thriller

“TimeSplash”

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com

/2020/01/130-inside-emotion-of-fiction.html

#131 02 08 2020 Angela Slatter’s

Short Story “Terrible As An Army With Banners”

From her Short Story Collection THE BITTERWOOD BIBLE AND OTHER RECOUNTINGS

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/02/131-inside-emotion-of-fiction-terrible.html

#132 02 11 2020 Joan Joachim’s

Romance

Just One Kiss

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/02/132-inside-emotion-of-fiction-just-one.html

#133 02 16 2020 Kelsey Clifton’s

Science Fiction

A DAY OUT OF TIME

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/02/133-inside-emotion-of-fiction-day-out.html

#134 02 17 2020 Soraya M Lane’s

Women Historical Fiction

THE GIRLS OF PEARL HARBOR

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/02/134-inside-emotion-of-fiction-girls-of.html

#135 03 07 2020

Linked Fiction

BLEACHERS Fifty-Four Linked Fictions

By Joseph Mills

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/03/135-inside-emotion-of-fiction-bleachers.html

#136 03 15 2020

Science Fiction Romance

BLUE VISION

By Marie Lavender

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/03/136-inside-emotion-of-fiction-blue.html

#137 03 17 2020

Crime Fiction

12 Bullets

by O’Neil De Noux

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/03/137-inside-emotion-of-fiction-12.html

#138 03 18 2020

Flash Fiction Piece

Radical

by Kelle Grace Gaddis

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/03/138-inside-emotion-of-fiction-radical.html

#139 03 20 2020

Mystery

HERE BE MONSTERS

By Jamie Sheffield

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/03/139-inside-emotion-of-fiction-here-be.html

#140 03 21 2020

Character Driven Novel

UNBROKEN

By Jamie Lisa Forbes

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/03/140-inside-emotion-of-fiction-unbroken.html

#141 03 23 2020

Literary Murder Mystery

COLD COUNTRY

By Russell Rowland

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/03/141-inside-emotion-of-fiction-cold.html

#142 04 01 2020

Sci-Fi/Paranormal

SWEET SLEEP

By Kim Cormack

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/04/142-inside-emotion-of-fiction-sweet.html

#143 04 02 2020

Western Noir Short Story

“Night Rounds”

by James Reasoner

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/04/143-inside-emotion-of-fiction-night.html

#144 04 03 2020

Southern Fiction

LITTLE TEA

By Claire Fullerton

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/04/144-inside-emotion-of-fiction-little.html

#145 04 04 2020

Mainstream novel with elements of crime, mystery, and magic

THE FORGETTING FLOWER
by Karen Hugg

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/04/145-inside-emotion-of-fiction.html

#146 04 07 2020

Historical Fiction

MEDICIS DAUGHTER

by Sophie Perinot

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/04/146-inside-emotion-of-fiction-medicis.html

#147 04 08 2020

Dark Urban Fantasy with elements of Paranormal Romance

COVEN BORN

by Stephanie Reisner aka AUDREY BRICE

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/04/147-inside-emotion-of-fiction-coven.html

#148 04 13 2020

Mystery With A Fantasy Twist

DEATH LIVES IN THE WATER

By Shoshana Edwards

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/04/148-inside-emotion-of-fiction-death.html

#149 04 14 2020

Historical Fiction

ASHES

by Sharon Glogal Friedman

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/04/149-inside-emotion-of-fiction-ashes-by.html

#150 04 19 2020

Vampire Horror Novelette

Blood Thrasher:  The Devil’s in the Metal

by Adam Messer

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/04/adam

messers-blood-thrasher-devils-in.html

#151 04 25 2020

Historical Fiction

Charis in the World of Wonders

by Marly Youmans

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/04/marly-youmans-charis-in-world-of.html

#152 04 29 2020

Historical Fiction

The Master of Verona

by David Blixt

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/04/david-blixts-master-of-verona-is-152-in.html

#153 04 30 2020

General Fiction (Family)

Bread Bags & Bullies:  Surviving the 80s

by Steven Manchester

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/04/steven-manchesters-bread-bags-bullies.html

#154 05 01 2020

Adventure-Thriller/Horror

Into The Ashes

by Lee Murray

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/05/lee-murrays-into-ashes-is-154-in-never.html

#155 05 06 2020

Coming of Age/Crime Novel

All Things Left In The Wild

by James Wade

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/05/james-wades-all-things-left-in-wild-is.html

#156 05 10 2020

Paranormal Mystery

Southern Bound

by Stuart Jaffe

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/05/stuart-jaffes-southern-bound-is-156-in.html

#157 05 13 2020

Mystery/Crime Novel

Yardbird

By Mark Slade

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/05/mark-slades-yardbird-is-157-in-never.html

#158 05 15 2020

Horror/Crime Novel

Hotel Nowhere

By David E Adkins

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/05/david-e-adkinss-hotel-nowhere-is-158-in.html

#159 05 16 2020

Satire/Crime Novel

THE LYING BASTARD

by Clint Margrave

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/05/clint-margraves-lying-bastard-is-159-in.html

#160 05 19 2020

Southern Gothic Fiction

REVIVING THE HAWTHORN SISTERS

by Emily Carpenter

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/05/emily-carpenters-reviving-hawthorn.html

#161 05 21 2020

Women’s Domestic Life Fiction

MERCY HOUSE

by Alena Dillon

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/05/alena-dillons-mercy-house-is-161-in.html

#162 05 26 2020

Screenplay/Film

BEAST MODE

by Drew Fortune and Spain Willingham

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/05/drew-fortunes-and-spain-willinghams_26.html

#163 05 31 2020

Coming of Age/ Psychological Thriller

MY SISTER & OTHER LIARS

by Ruth Dugdall

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/05/ruth-dugdalls-my-sister-and-other-liars.html

#164 06 01 2020

Psychological Thriller

IN HARM’S WAY

by Owen Mullen

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/06/owen-mullens-in-harms-way-is-164-in.html

#165 06 02 2020

Small Town Short Story Collection

SNAPSHOT “Old Lady”

by Eliot Parker

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/06/eliot-parkers-old-lady-from-snapshots.html

#166 06 04 2020

Noir Crime Novel

SKIN OF TATTOOS

by Christina Hoag

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/06/christina-hoags-skin-of-tattoos-is-166.html

#167 06 06 2020

Coming of Age/Historical

THE ORPHAN COLLECTOR

by Ellen Marie Wiseman

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/06/ellen-marie-wisemans-orphan-collector.html

#168 06 08 2020

World War Two Historical Fiction

THE PRISONER’S WIFE

by Maggie Brookes

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/06/maggie-brookess-prisoners-wife-is-168.html

#169 06 09 2020

Novella

(about the 1960s,

Rolling Stones in their exile,

genocide, it’s survivors, and

people from places that no longer exist.)

BLUE COAST MYSTERY:  ALMOST SOLVED

by Nick Sweeney

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/06/nick-sweeneys-blue-coast-mystery-almost.html

#170 06 11 2020

Family Life/Coming of Age Novel

THE EXTRAORDINARY LIFE OF SAME HELL

by Robert Dugoni

http://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/06/robert-dugonis-extraordinary-life-of.html

#171 06 26 2020

Women’s Divorce Fiction

QUEEN OF THE OWLS

by Barbara Linn Probst

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/06/barbara-linn-probsts-queen-of-owls-is.html

#172 07 01 2020

Short Story “The Belindas” from the Short Story Collection LOVE WAR STORIES

By Ivelisse Rodriguez

https://chrisricecooper.blogspot.com/2020/07/ivelisse-rodriguezs-short-story.html