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***This is the fifty-second in a never-ending series
called BACKSTORY OF THE POEM where the Chris Rice Cooper Blog (CRC)
focuses on one specific poem and how the poet wrote that specific poem.
All BACKSTORY OF THE POEM links are at the end of this
piece.
“Under Surveillance”
by Michael Farry
Can you go through the
step-by-step process of writing this poem from the moment the idea was first
conceived in your brain until final form?
It first suggested itself when I was left in charge of my six month old
grandson, Liam, (Right) home on holidays with his mother from Australia, and felt the
delight of having him, mixed with the anxiety of being in charge accentuated by
his mother’s frequent enquiries.
I wrote a quick prose
draft in my notebook (Left - Draft One). I then copied this into my computer, starting the process
of shaping it into a rough free form poem. This contained the essential
elements of the finished poem, including the photograph mention, but it was
still rough and contained much that was later abandoned. The photograph was
later changed into a selfie.
Then I edited the
drafts working towards making the poem more concise, using the text messages
sent by my daughter as an important element. I also decided on working towards
a particular shape, the four lines of each stanza increasing in length to give
some shape and structure. Much that I deemed inessential was cut.
After about four
drafts I had a finished poem, more or less as it appeared in the collection. (Above Right: Draft Two)
Where were you when you started
to actually write the poem? And please
describe the place in great detail. The idea came to me as
I sat in the sitting room looking after Liam on that day. After Liam’s mother
came home and took over, I scribbled down the first draft in the notebook. This
and the work on the computer was done in my office/den/library, a converted
garage whose walls are cluttered by books, certificates, prints, photographs,
posters and paintings, which also has various little and large owl ornaments,
one stuffed owl, and numerous children’s toys dumped in a corner.
How many drafts of this poem
did you write before going to the final? (And can you share a photograph of
your rough drafts with pen markings on it?)
I have copies of five drafts in my “Versions” folder for the year 2014. I
don’t save every draft. (Right: Draft Three) I also have the original scribbled draft in my
“Wuthering Heights” (Below Left) notebook.
Were there any lines in any of
your rough drafts of this poem that were not in the final version? And can you share them with us? The draft started with
this “introduction” which I removed early on:
Grandad’s
in charge
of
the warm bundle
asleep
upstairs.
The final line with
its echo of a Yeats’ (Right) ending came very late, only appearing in the next to final
draft.
What do you want readers of
this poem to take from this poem? The delight and
apprehension of a grandfather in charge of a fragile grandson. Males also have
deep feelings! How so much can be conveyed (I hope) in a very short poem.
Which part of the poem was the
most emotional of you to write and why?
The ending in particular with the grandfather and grandson together by
themselves for what was a very brief time. The grandchild returned to Australia
but I’m happy to say the whole family came home to settle in Ireland a couple
of years later.
As well as bring published
in the collection The Age of Glass (Revival
Press, Limerick, Ireland, 2017) it was published in the first issue of the
quarterly poetry publication Flare
published by The Sunflower Sessions, Dublin. http://flare.ie/
Under Surveillance
The
monitor
shows
him on his right side,
hands
tight together, placid,
a
slight rise and fall of his chest.
Queries
by text
from
the shopping centre,
Stirring? Crying? Up
yet?
keep
my eyes fixed on the screen.
Sixteen
minutes
later
he stirs, wakes,
stares
at something bright,
deflating
balloons or shelf of bears.
I
come alive,
prepare
the baby bottle
five spoons of formula,
microwave for twenty
seconds.
After
his feed
we
gurgle nonsense,
swap
giddy laughs, brief
glee
in each other’s company.
In
reply to
Awake? Ounces? Nappy?
I
take and send a selfie:
two
males, both happy, one exultant.
Michael Farry, who lives in Trim, Ireland, is a retired teacher, a poet and an historian. He has had two poetry collection published, Asking for Directions, by Doghouse Books, Tralee, in 2012 and The Age of Glass, by Revival Press, Limerick in 2017.
He was selected for Poetry Ireland Introductions 2011. His poetry has
been published in journals and anthologies in Ireland, the UK, America, Israel,
India, Australia and Canada and poems of his have won prizes in competitions
including the Dromineer Poetry Competition .
His history book, Sligo, The Irish
Revolution 1912-1923, was published in 2012 by Four Courts Press, Dublin.
On Facebook and Twitter.
BACKSTORY OF THE POEM
LINKS
001 December 29, 2017
Margo
Berdeshevksy’s “12-24”
002 January 08, 2018
Alexis
Rhone Fancher’s “82 Miles From the Beach, We Order The Lobster At Clear Lake
Café”
003 January 12, 2018
Barbara
Crooker’s “Orange”
004 January 22, 2018
Sonia
Saikaley’s “Modern Matsushima”
005 January 29, 2018
Ellen
Foos’s “Side Yard”
006 February 03, 2018
Susan
Sundwall’s “The Ringmaster”
007 February 09, 2018
Leslea
Newman’s “That Night”
008 February 17, 2018
Alexis
Rhone Fancher “June Fairchild Isn’t Dead”
009 February 24, 2018
Charles
Clifford Brooks III “The Gift of the Year With Granny”
010 March 03, 2018
Scott
Thomas Outlar’s “The Natural Reflection of Your Palms”
011 March 10, 2018
Anya
Francesca Jenkins’s “After Diane Beatty’s Photograph “History Abandoned”
012 March 17, 2018
Angela
Narciso Torres’s “What I Learned This Week”
013 March 24, 2018
Jan
Steckel’s “Holiday On ICE”
014 March 31, 2018
Ibrahim
Honjo’s “Colors”
015 April 14, 2018
Marilyn
Kallett’s “Ode to Disappointment”
016 April 27, 2018
Beth
Copeland’s “Reliquary”
017 May 12, 2018
Marlon
L Fick’s “The Swallows of Barcelona”
018 May 25, 2018
Juliet
Cook’s “ARTERIAL DISCOMBOBULATION”
019 June 09, 2018
Alexis
Rhone Fancher’s “Stiletto Killer. . . A Surmise”
020 June 16, 2018
Charles
Rammelkamp’s “At Last I Can Start Suffering”
021 July 05, 2018
Marla
Shaw O’Neill’s “Wind Chimes”
022 July 13, 2018
Julia Gordon-Bramer’s
“Studying Ariel”
023 July 20, 2018
Bill Yarrow’s “Jesus
Zombie”
024 July 27, 2018
Telaina Eriksen’s “Brag
2016”
025 August 01, 2018
Seth Berg’s “It is only
Yourself that Bends – so Wake up!”
026 August 07, 2018
David Herrle’s “Devil In
the Details”
027 August 13, 2018
Gloria Mindock’s “Carmen
Polo, Lady Necklaces, 2017”
028 August 21, 2018
Connie Post’s “Two
Deaths”
029 August 30, 2018
Mary Harwell Sayler’s
“Faces in a Crowd”
030 September 16, 2018
Larry Jaffe’s “The
Risking Point”
031 September 24,
2018
Mark Lee Webb’s “After
We Drove”
032 October 04, 2018
Melissa Studdard’s
“Astral”
033 October 13, 2018
Robert Craven’s “I Have
A Bass Guitar Called Vanessa”
034 October 17, 2018
David Sullivan’s “Paper
Mache Peaches of Heaven”
035 October 23, 2018
Timothy Gager’s
“Sobriety”
036 October 30, 2018
Gary Glauber’s “The
Second Breakfast”
037 November 04, 2018
Heather Forbes-McKeon’s
“Melania’s Deaf Tone Jacket”
038 November 11, 2018
Andrena Zawinski’s
“Women of the Fields”
039 November 00, 2018
Gordon Hilger’s “Poe”
040 November 16, 2018
Rita Quillen’s “My
Children Question Me About Poetry” and “Deathbed Dreams”
041 November 20, 2018
Jonathan Kevin Rice’s
“Dog Sitting”
042 November 22, 2018
Haroldo Barbosa Filho’s
“Mountain”
043 November 27, 2018
Megan Merchant’s “Grief
Flowers”
044 November 30, 2018
Jonathan P Taylor’s
“This poem is too neat”
045 December 03, 2018
Ian Haight’s “Sungmyo
for our Dead Father-in-Law”
046 December 06, 2018
Nancy Dafoe’s “Poem in
the Throat”
047 December 11, 2018
Jeffrey Pearson’s
“Memorial Day”
048 December 14, 2018
Frank Paino’s “Laika”
049 December 15, 2018
Jennifer Martelli’s “Anniversary”
O50 December 19, 2018
Joseph Ross’s “For Gilberto Ramos, 15, Who Died in
the Texas Desert, June 2014”
051 December 23, 2018
“The Persistence of
Music”
by Anatoly Molotkov
052 December 27, 2018
“Under Surveillance”
by Michael Farry