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OF THE POEM where the Chris Rice Cooper Blog (CRC) focuses on one
specific poem and how the poet wrote that specific poem. All BACKSTORY
OF THE POEM links are at the end of this piece.
#77
Backstory of the Poem “I
Broke My Bust of Jesus” by Susan
Sundwall
Chief among them
was the assigning of the word “myth” in an effort to convince me that there are
myriad resurrection myths that have arisen through time and the Jesus’ story
was only one among many. I allowed myself to take the atheist view in
this poem first by acting out the destruction of the Person, next by feeling
the freedom the atheist breathes at the beginning and then, confronted by His
loving gaze, turning back to that unconditional love in sorrowful conviction.
Where were
you when you started to actually write the poem? And please describe the
place in great detail. As I
stood in my bedroom in our 200 year old house, I caught sight of the bust of
Jesus I'd made in a ceramics class many years ago when I was a newly married
young woman.
The dresser is older than I am and I’d placed the white, fired
clay bust there as a daily reminder of Who I belong to. Dust settles on the
dark wood and through the window next to the dresser I watch the seasons pass.
Now it was spring. I stood in the center of the room and imagined taking that
bust and smashing it to the floor. How would that feel? Who would even care? My
atheist relative would note triumphantly that his argument had been the more
convincing than mine. From there the words flowed.
What month
and year did you start writing this poem? I wrote this poem in the spring of 2011.
How many
drafts of this poem did you write before going to the final? (And can you share
a photograph of your rough drafts with pen markings on it?) There were about three drafts all done on the
computer.
What do you
want readers of this poem to take from this poem? If you’re an atheist, carefully study your
position and be honestly willing to entertain the other side. If you’re a
believer, do the same. Then live with your hard won convictions and be ready to
defend them. Either position requires faith.
Which part
of the poem was the most emotional of you to write and why? When I stood in the bedroom staring at the bust of
Jesus, wrought by my own hand, and considered smashing it to the floor, a deep
fear and loathing came over me. Had the act been sincere, a lifetime of
believing would have fallen among the shards.
Has this
poem been published before? And if so where? I have tried for publication, but rhyming poems are
a hard, hard sell. Easier to memorize than stream-of-conscience poems, but a
hard sell.
Anything you
would like to add? Poetry is a soul endeavor.
I Broke My Bust of Jesus
I
broke my bust of Jesus
‘cuz
I don’t believe no more.
I
picked it up and laughed at it
then
smashed it to the floor.
“It’s
just a silly myth,” they said.
“How
stupid can you be?
To
think someone would hang for you
upon
a cursed tree.”
You
can’t imagine how it felt
To
finally give it up;
leave
hypocrites and thumpers,
the
wafer and the cup.
A
carpenter from long ago
He
couldn’t have a clue.
And
would have been much better off
to
stick with wood and glue.
I
got the broom, I got the pan
to
give the floor a sweep,
then
suddenly I felt the urge
to
bend my head and weep.
The
broken bits around my feet
were
hard to recognize,
but
somewhere in the rotten mess
I
saw a pair of eyes.
The
eyes implored, “I love you,”
and
were somehow piercing mine,
the
dirty windows of my soul
were
cleansed in salty brine.
What
madness had come over me?
What
stupefying lie,
had
crept into my very soul,
my
savior to decry?
I
scooped the broken pieces up,
my
own eyes rose to Heaven,
convicted
then, I knew my doubts
in
His love were forgiven.
Susan is a self-described late blooming Boomer Babe with
attitude. She’s been a freelance writer, children’s author, blogger, poet and
mystery writer for the past twenty years. Her stories, articles, poems and
essays have appeared in publications nationwide. She is the author of the
Minnie Markwood Mystery series which includes The Red Shoelace Killer, The
Super Bar Incident and The White Pizza Caper. She lives on four lush acres
in upstate New York with her husband and loves to interact with readers of
every stripe.
My email address
is scsundwall@gmail.com
BACKSTORY OF THE POEM
LINKS
001 December 29, 2017
Margo
Berdeshevksy’s “12-24”
002 January 08, 2018
Alexis
Rhone Fancher’s “82 Miles From the Beach, We Order The Lobster At Clear Lake
Café”
003 January 12, 2018
Barbara
Crooker’s “Orange”
004 January 22, 2018
Sonia
Saikaley’s “Modern Matsushima”
005 January 29, 2018
Ellen
Foos’s “Side Yard”
006 February 03, 2018
Susan
Sundwall’s “The Ringmaster”
007 February 09, 2018
Leslea
Newman’s “That Night”
008 February 17, 2018
Alexis
Rhone Fancher “June Fairchild Isn’t Dead”
009 February 24, 2018
Charles
Clifford Brooks III “The Gift of the Year With Granny”
010 March 03, 2018
Scott
Thomas Outlar’s “The Natural Reflection of Your Palms”
011 March 10, 2018
Anya
Francesca Jenkins’s “After Diane Beatty’s Photograph “History Abandoned”
012 March 17, 2018
Angela
Narciso Torres’s “What I Learned This Week”
013 March 24, 2018
Jan
Steckel’s “Holiday On ICE”
014 March 31, 2018
Ibrahim
Honjo’s “Colors”
015 April 14, 2018
Marilyn
Kallett’s “Ode to Disappointment”
016 April 27, 2018
Beth
Copeland’s “Reliquary”
017 May 12, 2018
Marlon
L Fick’s “The Swallows of Barcelona”
018 May 25, 2018
Juliet
Cook’s “ARTERIAL DISCOMBOBULATION”
019 June 09, 2018
Alexis
Rhone Fancher’s “Stiletto Killer. . . A Surmise”
020 June 16, 2018
Charles
Rammelkamp’s “At Last I Can Start Suffering”
021 July 05, 2018
Marla
Shaw O’Neill’s “Wind Chimes”
022 July 13, 2018
Julia Gordon-Bramer’s
“Studying Ariel”
023 July 20, 2018
Bill Yarrow’s “Jesus
Zombie”
024 July 27, 2018
Telaina Eriksen’s “Brag
2016”
025 August 01, 2018
Seth Berg’s “It is only
Yourself that Bends – so Wake up!”
026 August 07, 2018
David Herrle’s “Devil In
the Details”
027 August 13, 2018
Gloria Mindock’s “Carmen
Polo, Lady Necklaces, 2017”
028 August 21, 2018
Connie Post’s “Two
Deaths”
029 August 30, 2018
Mary Harwell Sayler’s
“Faces in a Crowd”
030 September 16, 2018
Larry Jaffe’s “The
Risking Point”
031 September 24,
2018
Mark Lee Webb’s “After
We Drove”
032 October 04, 2018
Melissa Studdard’s
“Astral”
033 October 13, 2018
Robert Craven’s “I Have
A Bass Guitar Called Vanessa”
034 October 17, 2018
David Sullivan’s “Paper Mache
Peaches of Heaven”
035 October 23, 2018
Timothy Gager’s
“Sobriety”
036 October 30, 2018
Gary Glauber’s “The
Second Breakfast”
037 November 04, 2018
Heather Forbes-McKeon’s
“Melania’s Deaf Tone Jacket”
038 November 11, 2018
Andrena Zawinski’s
“Women of the Fields”
039 November 00, 2018
Gordon Hilger’s “Poe”
040 November 16, 2018
Rita Quillen’s “My
Children Question Me About Poetry” and “Deathbed Dreams”
041 November 20, 2018
Jonathan Kevin Rice’s
“Dog Sitting”
042 November 22, 2018
Haroldo Barbosa Filho’s
“Mountain”
043 November 27, 2018
Megan Merchant’s “Grief Flowers”
044 November 30, 2018
Jonathan P Taylor’s
“This poem is too neat”
045 December 03, 2018
Ian Haight’s “Sungmyo
for our Dead Father-in-Law”
046 December 06, 2018
Nancy Dafoe’s “Poem in
the Throat”
047 December 11, 2018
Jeffrey Pearson’s “Memorial
Day”
048 December 14, 2018
Frank Paino’s “Laika”
049 December 15, 2018
Jennifer Martelli’s
“Anniversary”
O50 December 19, 2018
Joseph Ross’s “For Gilberto Ramos, 15, Who Died in
the Texas Desert, June 2014”
051 December 23, 2018
“The Persistence of
Music”
by Anatoly Molotkov
052 December 27, 2018
“Under Surveillance”
by Michael Farry
053 December 28, 2018
“Grand Finale”
by Renuka Raghavan
054 December 29, 2018
“Aftermath”
by Gene Barry
055 January 2, 2019
“&”
by Larissa Shmailo
056 January 7, 2019
“The Seamstress:
by Len Kuntz
057 January 10, 2019
"Natural History"
by Camille T Dungy
058 January 11, 2019
“BLOCKADE”
by Brian Burmeister
059 January 12, 2019
“Lost”
by Clint Margrave
060 January 14, 2019
“Menopause”
by Pat Durmon
061 January 19, 2019
“Neptune’s Choir”
by Linda Imbler
062 January 22, 2019
“Views From the
Driveway”
by Amy Barone
063 January 25, 2019
“The heron leaves her
haunts in the marsh”
by Gail Wronsky
064 January 30, 2019
“Shiprock”
by Terry Lucas
065 February 02, 2019
“Summer 1970, The
University of Virginia Opens to Women in the Fall”
by Alarie Tennille
066 February 05, 2019
“At School They Learn
Nouns”
by Patrick Bizzaro
067 February 06, 2019
“I Must Not Breathe”
by Angela Jackson-Brown
068 February 11, 2019
“Lunch on City Island,
Early June”
by Christine Potter
069 February 12, 2019
“Singing”
by Andrew McFadyen-Ketchum
070 February 14, 2019
“Daily Commute”
by Christopher P. Locke
071 February 18, 2019
“How Silent The Trees”
by Wyn Cooper
072 February 20, 2019
“A New Psalm
of Montreal”
by Sheenagh Pugh
073 February 23, 2019
“Make Me A
Butterfly”
by Amy Barbera
074 February 26, 2019
“Anthem”
by Sandy Coomer
075 March 4, 2019
“Shape of a Violin”
by Kelly Powell
076 March 5, 2019
“Inward Oracle”
by J.P. Dancing Bear
077 March 7, 2019
“I Broke
My Bust Of Jesus”
