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***This is the sixtieth in a never-ending series
called BACKSTORY OF THE POEM where the Chris Rice Cooper Blog (CRC)
focuses on one specific poem and how the poet wrote that specific poem.
All BACKSTORY OF THE POEM links are at the end of this
piece.
Bottom Left: Pat Durmon on January 12, 2019. Copyright permission granted by Pat Durmon for this CRC Blog Post Only
#60 Backstory of the
Poem
“Menopause”
by Pat Durmon
Can
you go through the step-by-step process of writing this poem from the moment
the idea was first conceived in your brain until final form?
A casual comment by a woman led to the creation of this poem. I heard her
tell how her husband remarked on her hot flashes being like a burning bush. The
observation resonated with me because my husband had made similar remarks as he
grazed my arm or wanted to snuggle.
I had no intention of
writing a poem about this subject, but after pondering it for some days, I realized
how universal the subject was. Men, having to deal with women’s hot flashes
throughout menopausal years; women, having to live through their bodies
building fires, smoldering, then dying out.
Unlike most of my
poems, the title came first. I knew what the poem was about. I did not know
where it was going. I started the poem
with my situation for at least 15 years (in 2004 Right). I was overheated. Women who knew me
gave advice and laughed heartily. They knew I was headed into a forest fire.
Then, I just reported how my body grew heat when I would lie down. I went on
with the long night, my misery, the burning.
I was a hot surface.
Touch was the last thing I wanted. It would be pretty stupid if you did not
understand that I needed space, not closeness.
What month and year did
you start writing this poem? I wrote “Menopause” in
2016 (Left) and won a First Place in a monthly contest with it in Poets Roundtable of
Arkansas.
How
many drafts of this poem did you write before going to the final? (And can you
share a photograph of your rough drafts with pen markings on it?) Before entering that contest, the poem had
undergone about 15 or more revisions. I edit a poem to get rid of the weeds. It
takes weeks and sometimes months. I have to let it get cold, then edit again. I
send my poems to two or more critique groups. It may be that someone in the
critique group suggests a minor or major change. I listen to all suggestions,
but I am clear that I own the poem. I may keep it as is or make changes. (Above Right: Pat Durmon's writing space in her Arkansas home. Copyright permission granted by Pat Durmon for this CRC Blog Post Only)
What do you want readers
of this poem to take from this poem? Whatever women need to
take for themselves from this poem, I am delighted to give it to them.
Menopause is a rough stage for many of us. It helps if women know it is a stage
of growing older, but it is something we age out of. I think I started when I
was forty (Left) and it eased up 15 years later when I said, “Praise the Lord!
Which part of the poem
was the most emotional of you to write and why? The lines “I don’t
understand how I build my own heat and smolder” gave me permission to take the
poem any direction I wanted to. I went to my husband’s reactions and then how I
was alone with the burning. At the
end, I saw the irony in it all. It was then that I could add a little fun to it
like the woman laughing at her husband (Pat with hubby Right)
Anything you would like to add? This poem had a lifecycle in its making. In it, I
revisited all those years of being in midlife and living with menopause. Like a
teen living through adolescence, nothing about menopause requires forgiveness. (Left: Pat Durmon with her dog in June of 2016. Copyright permission granted by Pat Durmon for this CRC Blog Post Only)
It
just is what it is. Biologists can explain it, but women carry a mystery most
really don’t care to understand themselves when going through the burning fire. They
just want to survive menopause. That’s the part I hoped to capture.
I wrote this poem after
publishing three books. I needed to write poems about common miracles, what I thought
would be my fourth book. Instead, I was writing girl/woman poems. I just
couldn’t seem to write about anything else. Because of that, I put the Common
Miracles manuscript aside and let my muse have her way. I stopped fighting with
myself about poems and wrote more poems to be published in Women, Resilient
Women in 2018. This poem will be included in Women, Resilient Women in 2018.
The poem, as I look at
it now, is part of my feminine history, but I find myself still attracted to
it. In fact, it is the poem I read aloud to a group of women one week ago. (Right: Spring in April of 2017. Attribution and copyright permission granted by Pat Durmon for this CRC Blog Post Only)
Menopause
My
body stays overheated
like
the world news. I am told
by
bold, honest women
to
get ready for a forest fire.
In
January, I lie down
beside
my husband, and my body
is
certain it’s high July.
I
don’t understand how I build
my
own heat and smolder.
My
husband’s hand grazes
my
arm. He jerks it back, saying
I’m
smoking, saying I’m hot like
a
burning bush.
In
the long night without end,
I
try to lie quiet, picture icebergs,
pray.
Burning questions
dum-ditty-dum
in my bones,
keeping
me on a red edge.
Another
lightning flash.
Maybe
I’ll
just burst into flames.
Pat Durmon is the author of four poetry books: Blind
Curves (2007), Lights and Shadows in a Nursing Home (2013), Push
Mountain Road (2015), Women, Resilient Women (2018). Poems have been published by Rattle, Main
Street Rag, Poetry East, Encore, Cyclamens and Blades, Between the Lines,
Lucidity, Cantos, and other journals. She is the recipient of numerous
honors and awards. Pat Durmon is a speaker and blogger: patdurmon.com.
She
taught school in Jonesboro, Arkansas before obtaining her Ed.S. Degree in counseling
at Arkansas State University. She and a
business partner were the first women to open a private counseling practice in
Jonesboro. Her writing reflects her various careers, miracles she notes in the
ordinary, her depth and playfulness. Pat currently facilitates two on-going and
open groups: 
https://www.patdurmon.com/
BACKSTORY OF THE POEM
LINKS
001 December 29, 2017
Margo
Berdeshevksy’s “12-24”
002 January 08, 2018
Alexis
Rhone Fancher’s “82 Miles From the Beach, We Order The Lobster At Clear Lake
Café”
003 January 12, 2018
Barbara
Crooker’s “Orange”
004 January 22, 2018
Sonia
Saikaley’s “Modern Matsushima”
005 January 29, 2018
Ellen
Foos’s “Side Yard”
006 February 03, 2018
Susan
Sundwall’s “The Ringmaster”
007 February 09, 2018
Leslea
Newman’s “That Night”
008 February 17, 2018
Alexis
Rhone Fancher “June Fairchild Isn’t Dead”
009 February 24, 2018
Charles
Clifford Brooks III “The Gift of the Year With Granny”
010 March 03, 2018
Scott
Thomas Outlar’s “The Natural Reflection of Your Palms”
011 March 10, 2018
Anya
Francesca Jenkins’s “After Diane Beatty’s Photograph “History Abandoned”
012 March 17, 2018
Angela
Narciso Torres’s “What I Learned This Week”
013 March 24, 2018
Jan
Steckel’s “Holiday On ICE”
014 March 31, 2018
Ibrahim
Honjo’s “Colors”
015 April 14, 2018
Marilyn
Kallett’s “Ode to Disappointment”
016 April 27, 2018
Beth
Copeland’s “Reliquary”
017 May 12, 2018
Marlon
L Fick’s “The Swallows of Barcelona”
018 May 25, 2018
Juliet
Cook’s “ARTERIAL DISCOMBOBULATION”
019 June 09, 2018
Alexis
Rhone Fancher’s “Stiletto Killer. . . A Surmise”
020 June 16, 2018
Charles
Rammelkamp’s “At Last I Can Start Suffering”
021 July 05, 2018
Marla
Shaw O’Neill’s “Wind Chimes”
022 July 13, 2018
Julia Gordon-Bramer’s
“Studying Ariel”
023 July 20, 2018
Bill Yarrow’s “Jesus
Zombie”
024 July 27, 2018
Telaina Eriksen’s “Brag
2016”
025 August 01, 2018
Seth Berg’s “It is only
Yourself that Bends – so Wake up!”
026 August 07, 2018
David Herrle’s “Devil In
the Details”
027 August 13, 2018
Gloria Mindock’s “Carmen
Polo, Lady Necklaces, 2017”
028 August 21, 2018
Connie Post’s “Two
Deaths”
029 August 30, 2018
Mary Harwell Sayler’s
“Faces in a Crowd”
030 September 16, 2018
Larry Jaffe’s “The
Risking Point”
031 September 24,
2018
Mark Lee Webb’s “After
We Drove”
032 October 04, 2018
Melissa Studdard’s
“Astral”
033 October 13, 2018
Robert Craven’s “I Have
A Bass Guitar Called Vanessa”
034 October 17, 2018
David Sullivan’s “Paper
Mache Peaches of Heaven”
035 October 23, 2018
Timothy Gager’s
“Sobriety”
036 October 30, 2018
Gary Glauber’s “The
Second Breakfast”
037 November 04, 2018
Heather Forbes-McKeon’s
“Melania’s Deaf Tone Jacket”
038 November 11, 2018
Andrena Zawinski’s
“Women of the Fields”
039 November 00, 2018
Gordon Hilger’s “Poe”
040 November 16, 2018
Rita Quillen’s “My
Children Question Me About Poetry” and “Deathbed Dreams”
041 November 20, 2018
Jonathan Kevin Rice’s
“Dog Sitting”
042 November 22, 2018
Haroldo Barbosa Filho’s
“Mountain”
043 November 27, 2018
Megan Merchant’s “Grief
Flowers”
044 November 30, 2018
Jonathan P Taylor’s
“This poem is too neat”
045 December 03, 2018
Ian Haight’s “Sungmyo
for our Dead Father-in-Law”
046 December 06, 2018
Nancy Dafoe’s “Poem in
the Throat”
047 December 11, 2018
Jeffrey Pearson’s
“Memorial Day”
048 December 14, 2018
Frank Paino’s “Laika”
049 December 15, 2018
Jennifer Martelli’s “Anniversary”
O50 December 19, 2018
Joseph Ross’s “For Gilberto Ramos, 15, Who Died in
the Texas Desert, June 2014”
051 December 23, 2018
“The Persistence of
Music”
by Anatoly Molotkov
052 December 27, 2018
“Under Surveillance”
by Michael Farry
053 December 28, 2018
“Grand Finale”
by Renuka Raghavan
054 December 29, 2018
“Aftermath”
by Gene Barry
055 January 2, 2019
“&”
by Larissa Shmailo
056 January 7, 2019
“The Seamstress:
by Len Kuntz
057 January 10, 2019
"Natural History"
by Camille T Dungy
058 January 11, 2019
“BLOCKADE”
by Brian Burmeister
059 January 12, 2019
“Lost”
by Clint Margrave
060 January 14, 2019
“Menopause”
“Menopause”
by Pat Durmon
This is a woman's poem, for sure, but this stage of our lives affects the men-folks too. : )
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