Friday, June 14, 2019

#113 Backstory of the Poem "Q" by Jennifer Johnson



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***This is #113 in the never-ending series called BACKSTORY OF THE POEM where the Chris Rice Cooper Blog (CRC) focuses on one specific poem and how the poet wrote that specific poem.  All BACKSTORY OF THE POEM links are at the end of this piece.

****All images are granted copyright permission by Jennifer Johnson for this CRC Blog Post only unless otherwise noted. 

#113 Backstory of the Poem
“Q”
by Jennifer Johnson

Can you go through the step-by-step process of writing this poem from the moment the idea was first conceived in your brain until final form? 
Once I have an idea I immediately talk or text on my phone (Right)  or grab a pen. Ideas are sparked by moments and are usually captured as such. I could be driving or wake up from a nap and it has to be captured. I’ll sit down a few days or even weeks later and edit and determine if the idea is a keeper. Some ideas are just fleeting feelings or maybe something I feel the need to keep to myself while some I feel others could benefit from sharing it with them.
Where were you when you started to actually write the poem?  And please describe the place in great detail. What do you want readers of this poem to take from this poem?
See details beneath each one.
Ω
These hands
Hands that once held you
Walked you across the street
Hands that once fed you
Helped dress you
Opened things for you
Hands that once held the book
Being read to a curious mind
Hands that once brushed
Your beautiful hair
And tended to your little wounds
These hands have not changed
Perhaps; changed their place
They have had to let go
Now to your back
Outreached; to catch a fall
To guiding hands
For your path is changing; grown
As you longer need my hand to hold
Hands that point you in the best direction
Hopeful; ready to advise
Hands that can no longer grasp
As they once held, yet no longer needed
Hands that are wet with tears; for you my child
Grown and going
Pick the path for you
These hands will always catch you when you fall
          This was written when, as a parent, I realized that my daughters where becoming independent adults and would possibly not need me hovering anymore. The thought that even though I’m not hovering I’m still there. The wonder of how much they would no longer call or ask for things or even want to chat. The realization that I was no longer on the forefront of their minds and they were chasing new things. Sad and proud moments at the same time. (Left:  Jennifer with her two daughters and husband in September of 2018)
All I want is honey
The taste of your sweetness
Yearning for you
Just within reach
Like a thought captured mid-breeze
I pin you to my hair
Like a freshly plucked flower
Oh how I like such pretty things
I’m drawn to you
The devil and deceiver
He’s always making me feel special
Like the taste of heroin
And selling your soul
One bite
And you never go back
To the girl before
     This was inspired by a romance read. Just a spin on what an addicting relationship could feel like. The beginning of a relationship that might be bad for her, but she’s going to bite anyway. Its going to change her.
Ω
What you didn’t know
You kept pushing
Kept complaining
Kept criticizing
Here’s what you didn’t know
Every word ate at my heart
Crippled my soul
Chipped away
I tried to rationalize
You see
Maybe that’s just you
But eventually your lies
Became my truth
Repeated so many times
You no longer had to speak
What you didn’t know
Is how you made me hate myself
I use to have a purpose
And used to have a voice
What you didn’t know
Is the thing you loved
Is no longer here
You took who she was
What you wanted her to be
You shaped her
Broke her down
Trained her
She gave in for you
Literally giving all of herself to you
What you didn’t know
Is she wasn’t what you wanted anymore
Not you only comfort and pacify
This broken thing
You won’t leave
Because you know the truth
You broke her
    
     This was written after a couple of thoughts mixed. My daughter having normal relationship issues and a “trigger” from the past. This one could be taken from two stances: relationships with partners and relationships with parent. These are the strongest influences in life and often can change you .. Often we don’t realize the changes until later.. (Left:  May 2019)

What month and year did you start writing this poem? These were written in the summer of 2017. (Below)

How many drafts of this poem did you write before going to the final? (And can you share a photograph of your rough drafts with pen markings on it?) There is usually only one rough draft. I do talk to text on my phone and not many pen changes. Not many changes at all really.
Were there any lines in any of your rough drafts of this poem that were not in the final version?  And can you share them with us? Rough draft I tend not to change too much from the final draft. I may correct spelling or grammar or emphasize a certain word. I feel like too much change tends to make it lose its meaning.
Which part of the poem was the most emotional of you to write and why? Poems are generally all emotion during writing it. The hard part is how much to edit and if you feel comfortable sharing it.
Has this poem been published before?  And if so where? Yes, it’s included in my published copy of “RED EYES” on amazon.
Anything you would like to add? Don’t stop chasing your passion, no matter what others think.
     Jennifer Johnson is from a small town in Indiana. She is a scuba diver, traveler, small time actress, step-mother of two, and career woman. Jennifer began writing at an early age and the passion has stuck with her since producing several single and collaborative publications. She has been locally nominated in the "Who's Who" of literary arts, is a member of the local Writer's Guild, and has been nominated in Indiana Emerging Authors.  Jennifer’s publications can be found on createspace.com, amazon.com, and her local bookstores.
Jennifer_bolling@hotmail.com




BACKSTORY OF THE POEM LINKS

001  December 29, 2017
Margo Berdeshevksy’s “12-24”

002  January 08, 2018
Alexis Rhone Fancher’s “82 Miles From the Beach, We Order The Lobster At Clear Lake Café”

003 January 12, 2018
Barbara Crooker’s “Orange”

004 January 22, 2018
Sonia Saikaley’s “Modern Matsushima”

005 January 29, 2018
Ellen Foos’s “Side Yard”

006 February 03, 2018
Susan Sundwall’s “The Ringmaster”

007 February 09, 2018
Leslea Newman’s “That Night”

008 February 17, 2018
Alexis Rhone Fancher “June Fairchild Isn’t Dead”

009 February 24, 2018
Charles Clifford Brooks III “The Gift of the Year With Granny”

010 March 03, 2018
Scott Thomas Outlar’s “The Natural Reflection of Your Palms”

011 March 10, 2018
Anya Francesca Jenkins’s “After Diane Beatty’s Photograph “History Abandoned”

012  March 17, 2018
Angela Narciso Torres’s “What I Learned This Week”

013 March 24, 2018
Jan Steckel’s “Holiday On ICE”

014 March 31, 2018
Ibrahim Honjo’s “Colors”

015 April 14, 2018
Marilyn Kallett’s “Ode to Disappointment”

016  April 27, 2018
Beth Copeland’s “Reliquary”

017  May 12, 2018
Marlon L Fick’s “The Swallows of Barcelona”

018  May 25, 2018
Juliet Cook’s “ARTERIAL DISCOMBOBULATION”

019  June 09, 2018
Alexis Rhone Fancher’s “Stiletto Killer. . . A Surmise”

020 June 16, 2018
Charles Rammelkamp’s “At Last I Can Start Suffering”

021  July 05, 2018
Marla Shaw O’Neill’s “Wind Chimes”

022 July 13, 2018
Julia Gordon-Bramer’s “Studying Ariel”

023 July 20, 2018
Bill Yarrow’s “Jesus Zombie”

024  July 27, 2018
Telaina Eriksen’s “Brag 2016”

025  August 01, 2018
Seth Berg’s “It is only Yourself that Bends – so Wake up!”

026  August 07, 2018
David Herrle’s “Devil In the Details”

027  August 13, 2018
Gloria Mindock’s “Carmen Polo, Lady Necklaces, 2017”

028  August 21, 2018
Connie Post’s “Two Deaths”

029  August 30, 2018
Mary Harwell Sayler’s “Faces in a Crowd”

030 September 16, 2018
Larry Jaffe’s “The Risking Point”

031  September 24, 2018
Mark Lee Webb’s “After We Drove”

032  October 04, 2018
Melissa Studdard’s “Astral”

033 October 13, 2018
Robert Craven’s “I Have A Bass Guitar Called Vanessa”

034  October 17, 2018
David Sullivan’s “Paper Mache Peaches of Heaven”

035 October 23, 2018
Timothy Gager’s “Sobriety”

036  October 30, 2018
Gary Glauber’s “The Second Breakfast”

037  November 04, 2018
Heather Forbes-McKeon’s “Melania’s Deaf Tone Jacket”

038 November 11, 2018
Andrena Zawinski’s “Women of the Fields”

039  November 00, 2018
Gordon Hilger’s “Poe”

040 November 16, 2018
Rita Quillen’s “My Children Question Me About Poetry” and “Deathbed Dreams”

041 November 20, 2018
Jonathan Kevin Rice’s “Dog Sitting”

042 November 22, 2018
Haroldo Barbosa Filho’s “Mountain”

043  November 27, 2018
Megan Merchant’s “Grief Flowers”

044 November 30, 2018
Jonathan P Taylor’s “This poem is too neat”

045  December 03, 2018
Ian Haight’s “Sungmyo for our Dead Father-in-Law”

046 December 06, 2018
Nancy Dafoe’s “Poem in the Throat”

047 December 11, 2018
Jeffrey Pearson’s “Memorial Day”

048  December 14, 2018
Frank Paino’s “Laika”

049  December 15, 2018
Jennifer Martelli’s “Anniversary”

O50  December 19, 2018
Joseph Ross’s For Gilberto Ramos, 15, Who Died in the Texas Desert, June 2014”

051 December 23, 2018
“The Persistence of Music”
by Anatoly Molotkov

052  December 27, 2018
“Under Surveillance”
by Michael Farry

053  December 28, 2018
“Grand Finale”
by Renuka Raghavan

054  December 29, 2018
“Aftermath”
by Gene Barry

055 January 2, 2019
“&”
by Larissa Shmailo

056  January 7, 2019
“The Seamstress:
by Len Kuntz

057  January 10, 2019
"Natural History"
by Camille T Dungy


058  January 11, 2019
“BLOCKADE”
by Brian Burmeister

059  January 12, 2019
“Lost”
by Clint Margrave

060 January 14, 2019
“Menopause”
by Pat Durmon

061 January 19, 2019
“Neptune’s Choir”
by Linda Imbler

062  January 22, 2019
“Views From the Driveway”
by Amy Barone

063  January 25, 2019
“The heron leaves her haunts in the marsh”
by Gail Wronsky

064  January 30, 2019
“Shiprock”
by Terry Lucas

065 February 02, 2019
“Summer 1970, The University of Virginia Opens to Women in the Fall”
by Alarie Tennille

066 February 05, 2019
“At School They Learn Nouns”
by Patrick Bizzaro

067  February 06, 2019
“I Must Not Breathe”
by Angela Jackson-Brown

068 February 11, 2019
“Lunch on City Island, Early June”
by Christine Potter

069 February 12, 2019
“Singing”
by Andrew McFadyen-Ketchum

070 February 14, 2019
“Daily Commute”
by Christopher P. Locke

071 February 18, 2019
“How Silent The Trees”
by Wyn Cooper


072 February 20, 2019
“A New Psalm of Montreal”
by Sheenagh Pugh

073 February 23, 2019
“Make Me A Butterfly”
by Amy Barbera

074 February 26, 2019
“Anthem”
by Sandy Coomer

075 March 4, 2019
“Shape of a Violin”
by Kelly Powell

076 March 5, 2019
“Inward Oracle”
by J.P. Dancing Bear

077 March 7, 2019
“I Broke My Bust Of Jesus”
by Susan Sundwall

078 March 9, 2019
“My Mother at 19”
by John Guzlowski

079 March 10, 2019
“Paddling”
by Chera Hammons Miller

080 March 12, 2019
“Of Water and Echo”
by Gillian Cummings

081   082   083    March 14, 2019
“Little Political Sense”   “Crossing Kansas with Jim
Morrison”  “The Land of Sky and Blue Waters”
by Dr. Lindsey Martin-Bowen

084 March 15, 2019
“A Tune To Remember”
by Anna Evans

085 March 19, 2019
“At the End of Time (Wish You Were Here)
by Jeannine Hall Gailey

086 March 20, 2019
“Garden of Gethsemane”
by Marletta Hemphill

087 March 21, 2019
“Letters From a War”
by Chelsea Dingman

088 March 26, 2019
“HAT”
by Bob Heman

089 March 27, 2019
“Clay for the Potter”
by Belinda Bourgeois

#090 March 30, 2019
“The Pose”
by John Hicks

#091 April 2, 2019
“Last Night at the Wursthaus”
by Doug Holder

#092 April 4, 2019
“Original Sin”
by Diane Lockward

#093 April 5, 2019
“A Father Calls to his child on liveleak”
by Stephen Byrne

#094 April 8, 2019
“XX”
by Marc Zegans

#095 April 12, 2019
“Landscape and Still Life”
by Marjorie Maddox

#096 April 16, 2019
“Strawberries Have Been Growing Here for Hundreds of
Years”
by Mary Ellen Lough

#097 April 17, 2019
“The New Science of Slippery Surfaces”
by Donna Spruijt-Metz

#098 April 19, 2019
“Tennessee Epithalamium”
by Alyse Knorr

#099 April 20, 2019
“Mermaid, 1969”
by Tameca L. Coleman

#100 April 21, 2019
“How Do You Know?”
by Stephanie

#101 April 23, 2019
“Rare Book and Reader”
by Ned Balbo

#102 April 26, 2019
“THUNDER”
by Jefferson Carter

#103 May 01, 2019
“The sight of a million angels”
by Jenneth Graser

#104 May 09, 2019
“How to tell my dog I’m dying”
by Richard Fox

#105 May 17, 2019
“Promises Had Been Made”
by Sarah Sarai

#106 June 01, 2019
“i sold your car today”
by Pamela Twining

#107 June 02, 2019
“Abandoned Stable”
by Nancy Susanna Breen

#108 June 05, 2019
“Cupcake”
by Julene Tripp Weaver

#109 June 6, 2019
“Bobby’s Story”
by Jimmy Pappas

#110 June 10, 2019
“When You Ask Me to Tell You About My Father”
by Pauletta Hansel

#111 Backstory of the Poem’s
“Cemetery Mailbox”
by Jennifer Horne

#112 Backstory of the Poem’s
“Relics”
by Kate Peper

#113 Backstory of the Poem’s
“Q”
by Jennifer Johnson