The poem was singled out and we broke it down in great detail. I looked with fresh eyes and the result was the final version.The poem is free verse. I never considered a traditional form.
Were there any lines in any of your rough drafts of this poem that were not in the final version? And can you share them with us? I cut many lines that I loved. It hurt but I knew it made the poem stronger. One of the challenges of writing poetry is knowing that only the vital words will remain, that I cannot fall in love with lines. If a word does not do a singular job, it must go. Brevity with clarity is the goal.
The cut lines jump out when comparing the two versions.
What do you want readers of this poem to take from this poem? The poem is direct. With all poems, I want the reader to find find themselves in the space between the words. The images should be revealing for reader and writer.