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***This is #144 in a never-ending series called BACKSTORY OF THE POEM
where the Chris Rice Cooper Blog (CRC) focuses on one specific poem and
how the poet wrote that specific poem. All BACKSTORY OF THE POEM links
are at the end of this piece.
“If I Had Three Lives”
by Sarah Russell
Can you go through the
step-by-step process of writing this poem from the moment the idea was first
conceived in your brain until final form? I was in a writing slump, and I emailed my writing
buddy in Australia and asked him to send me a great prompt. Ryan emailed back
that one of his favorite groups was The Whitlams, and they had a line in their
song “Melbourne” that he loved — “If I had three lives, I’d marry her in two.” I thought about it for only a minute or 2, and the poem “If I Had Three Lives,”
started writing itself. Then, of course, it spent a week going through
different drafts before I sent it to Ryan who always has some great
suggestions, then after another draft or 2, it went to my workshop group of
poets here in State College, who made more suggestions, and finally I thought
it was ready to go out into the world.
Where were you when you
started to actually write the poem? And please describe the place in
great detail. I always
write in the morning, propped up in bed, dog (Smudge on Right) cuddled next to me, remnants of my
breakfast on a plate somewhere amongst the quilts and books, hot tea in a cup
on the bedside table. There is a pile of New Yorkers on the table with the tea,
family pictures on the bureau and a bookcase filled with books. I’ve promised
myself to read. And Timothy, one of my household bears, sits on the
bureau. (Below Left: Sarah in front of her book case in April of 2019)
What month and year did
you start writing this poem? September, 2016
How many drafts of this
poem did you write before going to the final? (And can you share a photograph
of your rough drafts with pen markings on it?)
Were there any lines in
any of your rough drafts of this poem that were not in the final version?
And can you share them with us? I’ll combine these 2 questions. I write on my iPad in the
Notes app, usually without much forethought. It pours out in a stream of often
disconnected thoughts. I always save that first draft, then copy and paste it
above the original, and start editing the top poem. I whittle and add and
subtract, and change lines and meter. I can’t show you drafts with markings on
them, but I’ll be brave (no one EVER sees my first drafts!) and share the
clunky first draft and then what the poem became. Almost every line changed a
little.
FIRST DRAFT
If I had 3 lives, I’d marry you in 2.
And what of the other? That life
Just over there at Starbucks, sitting
alone, writing, maybe her memoir,
Maybe a novel, maybe a lover. The lines
Of her face aren't as etched as mine,
No kids, probably, a small apartment,
Easy to keep up, with books, lots of books,
And time to read. A view of a bridge and
the river.
Friends when you want them, not when you don't,
And a man occasionally, for a weekend,
So you remember what your skin feels like
When it's alive. I'd be thinner in that
life,
Vegan maybe, and do yoga. I'd go to art
films
And farmer's markets and places for cocktails
Where I wore swingy skirts and talked smart.
Or I'd go to the mountains or the shore,
And wear flannel shirts old lovers left
behind
Loving the shirt and it's smell of sweat
and aftershave more than the man who left it.
And hike to wildflower fields or find shells,
Small and perfect, and study the pock marks
Water made in sand.
What do you want readers
of this poem to take from this poem? This poem surprised me because I didn’t mean at first for
it to be a love poem. You can see that the first draft didn’t have the last
line. But it turned into a love poem for my husband. There are always
compromises when we have someone in our lives, but I hope everyone has someone
they would marry twice and long for in a life that didn’t include that person.
As a side takeaway, I hope readers get a chuckle out of the “perfect person” we
think we could become and the “perfect life” we imagine for ourselves when
we’re daydreaming. (Above Right: Sarah with husband Roy)
Which part of the poem
was the most emotional for you to write and why? I think it was the surprise at
the end, when I realized it was written for my husband, and I added the last
line. Just recently when I read the poem in a group where he was, I introduced
it as a love poem for him, and I choked up when I got to the last line. BTW,
you remember that breakfast plate on my bed and the hot tea? He brings me
breakfast in bed nearly every morning. :-)
Has this poem been published before? And if so where? It was
first published by Silver Birch Press (http://www.silver
birchpress.com/), and was republished in Autumn
Sky Poetry Daily. It also won a contest sponsored by Poetry Nook (https://www.poetry
nook.com/), and is in my poetry
collection I lost summer somewhere.
It will also be included in an anthology coming out this year from Darkhorse
Books titled What We Talk About When
We Talk About It: Variations on the Theme of Love. And now you
have its backstory for your blog.
Anything you would like
to add? It has
been fun to remember how this poem came to be. Thank you!
FINAL POEM
If I Had Three Lives
After
"Melbourne" by the Whitlams
If I had three lives, I'd marry you in two.
The other? Perhaps that life over
there
at Starbucks, sitting alone, writing – a
memoir,
maybe a novel or this poem. No kids,
probably,
a small apartment with a view of the
river,
and books – lots of books, and time to
read.
Friends to laugh with, and a man
sometimes,
for a weekend, to remember what skin feels like
when it's alive. I'd be thinner in that
life, vegan,
practice yoga. I’d go to art films,
farmers markets,
drink martinis in swingy skirts and big
jewelry.
I’d vacation on the Maine coast and wear a
flannel shirt
weekend guy left behind, loving the smell of
sweat
and aftershave more than I did him. I’d
walk the beach
at sunrise, find perfect shell spirals and study
pockmarks
water makes in sand. And I'd wonder
sometimes
if I'd ever find you.
Sarah Russell’s (Right: in November of 2019) poetry and fiction have been published in Kentucky Review,
Red River Review, Misfit Magazine, Rusty Truck, Third Wednesday, and many
other journals and anthologies. She is a Pushcart Prize nominee, and her poetry
collection I lost summer somewhere
was published in April by Kelsay Books. She blogs at https://SarahRussellPoetry.net and can be reached via email at Denversrh@gmail.com
BACKSTORY OF THE POEM
LINKS
001 December 29, 2017
Margo
Berdeshevksy’s “12-24”
002 January 08, 2018
Alexis
Rhone Fancher’s “82 Miles From the Beach, We Order The Lobster At Clear Lake
Café”
003 January 12, 2018
Barbara
Crooker’s “Orange”
004 January 22, 2018
Sonia
Saikaley’s “Modern Matsushima”
005 January 29, 2018
Ellen
Foos’s “Side Yard”
006 February 03, 2018
Susan
Sundwall’s “The Ringmaster”
007 February 09, 2018
Leslea
Newman’s “That Night”
008 February 17, 2018
Alexis
Rhone Fancher “June Fairchild Isn’t Dead”
009 February 24, 2018
Charles
Clifford Brooks III “The Gift of the Year With Granny”
010 March 03, 2018
Scott
Thomas Outlar’s “The Natural Reflection of Your Palms”
011 March 10, 2018
Anya
Francesca Jenkins’s “After Diane Beatty’s Photograph “History Abandoned”
012 March 17, 2018
Angela
Narciso Torres’s “What I Learned This Week”
013 March 24, 2018
Jan
Steckel’s “Holiday On ICE”
014 March 31, 2018
Ibrahim
Honjo’s “Colors”
015 April 14, 2018
Marilyn
Kallett’s “Ode to Disappointment”
016 April 27, 2018
Beth
Copeland’s “Reliquary”
017 May 12, 2018
Marlon
L Fick’s “The Swallows of Barcelona”
018 May 25, 2018
Juliet
Cook’s “ARTERIAL DISCOMBOBULATION”
019 June 09, 2018
Alexis
Rhone Fancher’s “Stiletto Killer. . . A Surmise”
020 June 16, 2018
Charles
Rammelkamp’s “At Last I Can Start Suffering”
021 July 05, 2018
Marla
Shaw O’Neill’s “Wind Chimes”
022 July 13, 2018
Julia Gordon-Bramer’s
“Studying Ariel”
023 July 20, 2018
Bill Yarrow’s “Jesus
Zombie”
024 July 27, 2018
Telaina Eriksen’s “Brag
2016”
025 August 01, 2018
Seth Berg’s “It is only
Yourself that Bends – so Wake up!”
026 August 07, 2018
David Herrle’s “Devil In
the Details”
027 August 13, 2018
Gloria Mindock’s “Carmen
Polo, Lady Necklaces, 2017”
028 August 21, 2018
Connie Post’s “Two
Deaths”
029 August 30, 2018
Mary Harwell Sayler’s
“Faces in a Crowd”
030 September 16, 2018
Larry Jaffe’s “The
Risking Point”
031 September 24,
2018
Mark Lee Webb’s “After
We Drove”
032 October 04, 2018
Melissa Studdard’s
“Astral”
033 October 13, 2018
Robert Craven’s “I Have
A Bass Guitar Called Vanessa”
034 October 17, 2018
David Sullivan’s “Paper Mache
Peaches of Heaven”
035 October 23, 2018
Timothy Gager’s
“Sobriety”
036 October 30, 2018
Gary Glauber’s “The
Second Breakfast”
037 November 04, 2018
Heather Forbes-McKeon’s
“Melania’s Deaf Tone Jacket”
038 November 11, 2018
Andrena Zawinski’s
“Women of the Fields”
039 November 00, 2018
Gordon Hilger’s “Poe”
040 November 16, 2018
Rita Quillen’s “My
Children Question Me About Poetry” and “Deathbed Dreams”
041 November 20, 2018
Jonathan Kevin Rice’s
“Dog Sitting”
042 November 22, 2018
Haroldo Barbosa Filho’s
“Mountain”
043 November 27, 2018
Megan Merchant’s “Grief Flowers”
044 November 30, 2018
Jonathan P Taylor’s
“This poem is too neat”
045 December 03, 2018
Ian Haight’s “Sungmyo
for our Dead Father-in-Law”
046 December 06, 2018
Nancy Dafoe’s “Poem in
the Throat”
047 December 11, 2018
Jeffrey Pearson’s “Memorial
Day”
048 December 14, 2018
Frank Paino’s “Laika”
049 December 15, 2018
Jennifer Martelli’s
“Anniversary”
O50 December 19, 2018
Joseph Ross’s “For Gilberto Ramos, 15, Who Died in
the Texas Desert, June 2014”
051 December 23, 2018
“The Persistence of
Music”
by Anatoly Molotkov
052 December 27, 2018
“Under Surveillance”
by Michael Farry
053 December 28, 2018
“Grand Finale”
by Renuka Raghavan
054 December 29, 2018
“Aftermath”
by Gene Barry
055 January 2, 2019
“&”
by Larissa Shmailo
056 January 7, 2019
“The Seamstress:
by Len Kuntz
057 January 10, 2019
"Natural History"
by Camille T Dungy
058 January 11, 2019
“BLOCKADE”
by Brian Burmeister
059 January 12, 2019
“Lost”
by Clint Margrave
060 January 14, 2019
“Menopause”
by Pat Durmon
061 January 19, 2019
“Neptune’s Choir”
by Linda Imbler
062 January 22, 2019
“Views From the
Driveway”
by Amy Barone
063 January 25, 2019
“The heron leaves her
haunts in the marsh”
by Gail Wronsky
064 January 30, 2019
“Shiprock”
by Terry Lucas
065 February 02, 2019
“Summer 1970, The
University of Virginia Opens to Women in the Fall”
by Alarie Tennille
066 February 05, 2019
“At School They Learn
Nouns”
by Patrick Bizzaro
067 February 06, 2019
“I Must Not Breathe”
by Angela Jackson-Brown
068 February 11, 2019
“Lunch on City Island,
Early June”
by Christine Potter
069 February 12, 2019
“Singing”
by Andrew McFadyen-Ketchum
070 February 14, 2019
“Daily Commute”
by Christopher P. Locke
071 February 18, 2019
“How Silent The Trees”
by Wyn Cooper
072 February 20, 2019
“A New Psalm
of Montreal”
by Sheenagh Pugh
073 February 23, 2019
“Make Me A
Butterfly”
by Amy Barbera
074 February 26, 2019
“Anthem”
by Sandy Coomer
075 March 4, 2019
“Shape of a Violin”
by Kelly Powell
076 March 5, 2019
“Inward Oracle”
by J.P. Dancing Bear
077 March 7, 2019
“I Broke
My Bust Of Jesus”
by Susan Sundwall
078 March 9, 2019
“My Mother
at 19”
by John Guzlowski
079 March 10, 2019
“Paddling”
by Chera Hammons Miller
080 March 12, 2019
“Of Water
and Echo”
by Gillian Cummings
081 082
083 March 14, 2019
“Little
Political Sense” “Crossing Kansas with
Jim
Morrison” “The Land of Sky and Blue Waters”
by Dr. Lindsey
Martin-Bowen
084 March 15, 2019
“A Tune To
Remember”
by Anna Evans
085 March 19, 2019
“At the
End of Time (Wish You Were Here)
by Jeannine Hall Gailey
086 March 20, 2019
“Garden of
Gethsemane”
by Marletta Hemphill
087 March 21, 2019
“Letters
From a War”
by Chelsea Dingman
088 March 26, 2019
“HAT”
by Bob Heman
089 March 27, 2019
“Clay for
the Potter”
by Belinda Bourgeois
#090 March 30, 2019
“The Pose”
by John Hicks
#091 April 2, 2019
“Last
Night at the Wursthaus”
by Doug Holder
#092 April 4, 2019
“Original
Sin”
by Diane Lockward
#093 April 5, 2019
“A Father
Calls to his child on liveleak”
by Stephen Byrne
#094 April 8, 2019
“XX”
by Marc Zegans
#095 April 12, 2019
“Landscape
and Still Life”
by Marjorie Maddox
#096 April 16, 2019
“Strawberries
Have Been Growing Here for Hundreds of
Years”
by Mary Ellen Lough
#097 April 17, 2019
“The New
Science of Slippery Surfaces”
by Donna Spruijt-Metz
#098 April 19, 2019
“Tennessee
Epithalamium”
by Alyse Knorr
#099 April 20, 2019
“Mermaid,
1969”
by Tameca L. Coleman
#100 April 21, 2019
“How Do
You Know?”
by Stephanie
#101 April 23, 2019
“Rare Book
and Reader”
by Ned Balbo
#102 April 26, 2019
“THUNDER”
by Jefferson Carter
#103 May 01, 2019
“The sight
of a million angels”
by Jenneth Graser
#104 May 09, 2019
“How to
tell my dog I’m dying”
by Richard Fox
#105 May 17, 2019
“Promises
Had Been Made”
by Sarah Sarai
#106 June 01, 2019
“i sold
your car today”
by Pamela Twining
#107 June 02, 2019
“Abandoned
Stable”
by Nancy Susanna Breen
#108 June 05, 2019
“Cupcake”
by Julene Tripp Weaver
#109 June 6, 2019
“Bobby’s
Story”
by Jimmy Pappas
#110 June 10, 2019
“When You
Ask Me to Tell You About My Father”
by Pauletta Hansel
#111 Backstory of the
Poem’s
“Cemetery
Mailbox”
by Jennifer Horne
#112 Backstory of the Poem’s
“Relics”
by Kate Peper
#113 Backstory of the
Poem’s
“Q”
by Jennifer Johnson
#114 Backstory of the
Poem’s
“Brushing My Hair”
by Tammika Dorsey Jones
#115 Backstory of the
Poem
“Because the Birds Will
Survive, Too”
by Katherine Riegel
#116 Backstory of the Poem
“DIVORCE”
“DIVORCE”
by Joan Barasovska
#117 Backstory of the
Poem
“NEW
YEAR”S EVE 2016”
by Michael Meyerhofer
#118 Backstory of the
Poem
“Dear the
estranged,”
by Gina Tron
#119 Backstory of the Poem
“In
Remembrance of Them”
by Janet Renee Cryer
#120 Backstory of the
Poem
“Horse Fly
Grade Card, Doesn’t Play Well With Others”
by David L. Harrison
#121 Backstory of the
Poem
“My
Mother’s Cookbook”
by Rachael Ikins
#122 Backstory of the
Poem
“Cousins I
Never Met”
by Maureen Kadish
Sherbondy
#123 Backstory of the
Poem
“To Those
Who Were Our First Gods”
by Nickole Brown
#124 Backstory of the
Poem
“Looking For Sunsets (In the Early Morning)”
“Looking For Sunsets (In the Early Morning)”
by Paul Levinson
#125 Backstory of the
Poem
“Tracy”
by Tiff Holland
#126 Backstory of the
Poem
“Legs”
by Cindy Hochman
“Legs”
by Cindy Hochman
#127 Backstory of the
Poem
“Anathema”
“Anathema”
by Natasha Saje
#128 Backstory of the
Poem
“How to
Explain Fertility When an Acquaintance Asks Casually”
by Allison Blevins
#129 Backstory of the
Poem
“The Art of Meditation
In Tennessee”
by Linda Parsons
#130 Backstory of the
Poem
“Schooling
High, In Beslan”
by Satabdi Saha
#131 Backstory of the
Poem
““Baby Jacob survives the Oso Landslide, 2014”
by Amie Zimmerman
#132 Backstory of the
Poem
“Our Age
of Anxiety”
by Henry Israeli
#133 Backstory of the
Poem
“Earth
Cries; Heaven Smiles”
by Ken Allan Dronsfield
#134 Backstory of the Poem
“Eons”
by Janine Canan
#135 Backstory of the
Poem
“Sworn”
by Catherine Zickgraf
#136 Backstory of the
Poem
“Bushwick
Blue”
by Susana H. Case
#137 Backstory of the
Poem
“Then She
Was Forever”
by Paula Persoleo
#138 Backstory of the
Poem
“Enough”
by Kris Bigalk
#139 Backstory of the
Poem
“From Ghosts of the
Upper Floor”
by Tony Trigilio
#140 Backstory of the
Poem
“Cloud
Audience”
by Wanita Zumbrunnen
#141 Backstory of the
Poem
“Condition
Center”
by Matthew Freeman
#142 Backstory of the
Poem
“Adventuresome
Woman”
by Cheryl Suchors
#143 Backstory of the
Poem
“The Way Back”
“The Way Back”
by Robert Walicki
#144 Backstory of the
Poem
“If I Had Three Lives”
by Sarah Russell
