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***This is #139 in a never-ending series called BACKSTORY
OF THE POEM where the Chris Rice Cooper Blog (CRC) focuses on one
specific poem and how the poet wrote that specific poem. All BACKSTORY
OF THE POEM links are at the end of this piece. Below Left: Tony Trigilio in August of 2019
#139 Backstory of the Poem
“From Ghosts of the Upper Floor (BlazeVOX [books], 2019)”
by Tony Trigilio
Can you go through the step-by-step process of writing
this poem from the moment the idea was first conceived in your brain until
final form? The poem is
an homage to my brother, Carmen, who died in 2006. (Left: Carmen)
I began the poem in 2016 (Below: Tony in 2016), after attending a special throwback
screening in Chicago of the classic film, Planet of the Apes.
I’ve seen the
film many times, but this was my first viewing on the big screen since 1974, when
I was eight years old (Right) and attended an all-day Planet of the Apes marathon (five films in one day) with
my brother in my childhood city, Erie, Pennsylvania. Watching the movie now, as
an adult, brought back the memories of the 1974, including my recollection of the
bathroom accident that is the poem’s center of gravity
The poem emerged from a kind of Proustian magic—one memory led to
another in an enchanted chain of recollections. I began the poem with what
became its final image: my brother turned three-quarters away from me,
pretending he didn’t notice the acrid smell of urine coming from where I sat. I
built the architecture of the poem backward from that final image. This moment,
I knew, had to be the image the poem landed on. I began with the sickly, ammoniac
smell of the final image. The odor triggered a detailed reconstruction of the
events that led to that last, pee-stricken moment in the theater. (Below: Big Brother Carmen with Little Brother Tony)
I originally composed the poem for my book, Ghosts of the Upper Floor, which was released in August 2019 by
BlazeVOX [books]. Ghosts of the Upper Floor
is the third installment in my multivolume experiment in autobiography, The
Complete Dark Shadows (of My
Childhood).
I’m watching all 1,225 episodes of the old vampire soap
opera Dark Shadows and composing one
sentence in response to each episode. These individual sentences become memory
triggers for diaristic excursions in poetry and prose. For this particular poem,
I was watching Episode 608 and was struck by the morose, opening voice-over
remarks by the character Maggie Evans (Bottom Right), which led me to describe the show as
“the Joy Division of daytime TV.”
I watched this episode with my
mother back in 1968,(Left: Tony with his Mother) the same year, as it turns out, that Planet of the Apes was released. As always, my endless chain of memories of watching Dark Shadows becomes entangled with
family recollections and with events as they are unfolding, in all their ongoing-ness,
in the present moment.
Where were you when you started to actually write the
poem? And please describe the place in
great detail. I began
the poem in the living room of my apartment on the far north side of Chicago. (Above Right: Tony in his writing room) I
was sitting on the floor, hunched over my Moleskine notebook on the coffee
table. I constantly paused and rewound to get the details right, and
eventually, as my memories of the Planet
of the Apes movie marathon became clearer, I shut off the DVD player so
that I could focus all of my attention on the writing.
What month and year did you start writing this poem? I began the poem July 24, 2016. (Left: Tony in May of 2016)
How many drafts of this poem did you write before
going to the final? (And can you share a photograph of your rough drafts with
pen markings on it?) I
spent roughly a month revising the poem. I usually need lots of drafts, but
this poem only went through about three or four.
I’ve attached a page of the
original draft from my notebook. (Right) This was the version that appeared in Ghosts
of the Upper Floor. The remaining drafts—in typescript, with hand
corrections—haven’t survived.
Were there any lines in any of your rough drafts of this
poem that were not in the final version?
And can you share them with us? My favorite outtake is a line that pointed too obviously to the
gender panic at the core of the poem: “Every
man who had a penis had a flap [a fly opening in their underwear] and unlike
me, as a child, they knew how to use it.” This anxiety
is everywhere in the poem, and I felt if I kept this particular line, I’d rob
readers of the chance to experience the little boy’s panic on their own.
What do you want readers of this poem to take from
this poem? Most of all,
I’d like readers to remember times when they, too, were surrounded by familial
love even while feeling deeply trapped in shame. I’ve always wanted to write
about my brother’s patience in the movie theater. He could’ve embarrassed me,
but instead he simply endured the horrible smell of his annoying little
eight-year-old brother who—as we both learned that day—didn’t know how to use a
urinal.
Which part of the poem was the most emotional of you
to write and why? Remembering my brother’s benevolent
silence that day. This makes me miss him in the most crushing but beautiful
ways. I’m grateful that I could memorialize it in a poem. (Left: Carmen and Tony)
Has this poem been published before? And if so where? In its prose poem form, it has just been
published as part of my newest book, Ghosts of the Upper Floor (BlazeVOX [books], 2019). http://www.blazevox.org/
It also was published in a
slightly different form, as a stand-alone, verse poem, in Columbia Poetry Review (Vol. 30, 2017).
Anything you would like to add? The poem represents, literally and
figuratively, an exposed moment from my childhood. It’s a testament, for me, to
the importance of trusting our most vulnerable memories when we write. Those
moments of embarrassment are often our most human, and I try to remember this
even as I’m unearthing troubling or painful memories in my work.
Tony
Trigilio
From
Ghosts of the Upper Floor (BlazeVOX
[books], 2019)
With Liz and Gene Kannenberg at a throwback
screening of Planet of the Apes—released
in 1968, six months before Maggie’s overwrought Episode 608 introduction, “One
man has discovered that both sacred and
profane love can leave you completely alone” (Dark Shadows, the Joy Division of daytime TV)—first time I’ve seen
this film on the big screen since 1974, age eight, a Planet of the Apes marathon (all five movies, all day) at the
Warner Theater, a plush Art Deco cinema in Erie, Pennsylvania, where I begged
my brother Carmen to take me with him and our two cousins (he relented only
because my parents forced him to), and during the intermission between the
third and fourth films—Escape from the
Planet of the Apes and Conquest of
the Planet of the Apes—I went to the men’s room with them and,
self-conscious that I didn’t know how to use a urinal, watched how my brother
walked up to an empty one and imitated him, pulling my penis through the fly
hole in my underwear, but I didn’t adequately maneuver it from the flap, and
for some reason didn’t understand you must point your penis at the urinal,
causing me to streak my underwear and jeans with my stream; I felt lucky no one
saw it, assumed I’d gotten away with my accident, until I felt a huge damp spot
on the right inner thigh of my jeans as the fourth movie began, and by the end
of Conquest of the Planet of the Apes,
the odor had become inescapable, at which point I noticed my brother watching
the movie turned three-quarters away from me—he endured it and never said a
word, even though he must’ve realized his reward for taking me to a five-movie
marathon was the acrid smell of urine for the last two films (three hours of
screen time, plus intermission).
Tony Trigilio is the author and editor of 12 books, including, most recently,
Ghosts of the Upper Floor (BlazeVOX Books, 2019), the third installment
in his multivolume poem, The Complete Dark Shadows (of My Childhood). His selected poems, Fuera del Taller del Cosmos, was
published in Guatemala in 2018 by Editorial Poe (translated by Bony Hernández). He coedits the poetry journal Court Green
and is an associate editor for Tupelo
Quarterly. He is a Professor of English and Creative Writing at Columbia
College Chicago. (Above Left: Tony in May of 2019)
Twitter: @RadioFreeAlbion
Instagram: @tonytrigilio
BACKSTORY OF THE POEM
LINKS
001 December 29, 2017
Margo
Berdeshevksy’s “12-24”
002 January 08, 2018
Alexis
Rhone Fancher’s “82 Miles From the Beach, We Order The Lobster At Clear Lake
Café”
003 January 12, 2018
Barbara
Crooker’s “Orange”
004 January 22, 2018
Sonia
Saikaley’s “Modern Matsushima”
005 January 29, 2018
Ellen
Foos’s “Side Yard”
006 February 03, 2018
Susan
Sundwall’s “The Ringmaster”
007 February 09, 2018
Leslea
Newman’s “That Night”
008 February 17, 2018
Alexis
Rhone Fancher “June Fairchild Isn’t Dead”
009 February 24, 2018
Charles
Clifford Brooks III “The Gift of the Year With Granny”
010 March 03, 2018
Scott
Thomas Outlar’s “The Natural Reflection of Your Palms”
011 March 10, 2018
Anya
Francesca Jenkins’s “After Diane Beatty’s Photograph “History Abandoned”
012 March 17, 2018
Angela
Narciso Torres’s “What I Learned This Week”
013 March 24, 2018
Jan
Steckel’s “Holiday On ICE”
014 March 31, 2018
Ibrahim
Honjo’s “Colors”
015 April 14, 2018
Marilyn
Kallett’s “Ode to Disappointment”
016 April 27, 2018
Beth
Copeland’s “Reliquary”
017 May 12, 2018
Marlon
L Fick’s “The Swallows of Barcelona”
018 May 25, 2018
Juliet
Cook’s “ARTERIAL DISCOMBOBULATION”
019 June 09, 2018
Alexis
Rhone Fancher’s “Stiletto Killer. . . A Surmise”
020 June 16, 2018
Charles
Rammelkamp’s “At Last I Can Start Suffering”
021 July 05, 2018
Marla
Shaw O’Neill’s “Wind Chimes”
022 July 13, 2018
Julia Gordon-Bramer’s
“Studying Ariel”
023 July 20, 2018
Bill Yarrow’s “Jesus
Zombie”
024 July 27, 2018
Telaina Eriksen’s “Brag
2016”
025 August 01, 2018
Seth Berg’s “It is only
Yourself that Bends – so Wake up!”
026 August 07, 2018
David Herrle’s “Devil In
the Details”
027 August 13, 2018
Gloria Mindock’s “Carmen
Polo, Lady Necklaces, 2017”
028 August 21, 2018
Connie Post’s “Two
Deaths”
029 August 30, 2018
Mary Harwell Sayler’s
“Faces in a Crowd”
030 September 16, 2018
Larry Jaffe’s “The
Risking Point”
031 September 24,
2018
Mark Lee Webb’s “After
We Drove”
032 October 04, 2018
Melissa Studdard’s
“Astral”
033 October 13, 2018
Robert Craven’s “I Have
A Bass Guitar Called Vanessa”
034 October 17, 2018
David Sullivan’s “Paper Mache
Peaches of Heaven”
035 October 23, 2018
Timothy Gager’s
“Sobriety”
036 October 30, 2018
Gary Glauber’s “The
Second Breakfast”
037 November 04, 2018
Heather Forbes-McKeon’s
“Melania’s Deaf Tone Jacket”
038 November 11, 2018
Andrena Zawinski’s
“Women of the Fields”
039 November 00, 2018
Gordon Hilger’s “Poe”
040 November 16, 2018
Rita Quillen’s “My
Children Question Me About Poetry” and “Deathbed Dreams”
041 November 20, 2018
Jonathan Kevin Rice’s
“Dog Sitting”
042 November 22, 2018
Haroldo Barbosa Filho’s
“Mountain”
043 November 27, 2018
Megan Merchant’s “Grief Flowers”
044 November 30, 2018
Jonathan P Taylor’s
“This poem is too neat”
045 December 03, 2018
Ian Haight’s “Sungmyo
for our Dead Father-in-Law”
046 December 06, 2018
Nancy Dafoe’s “Poem in
the Throat”
047 December 11, 2018
Jeffrey Pearson’s “Memorial
Day”
048 December 14, 2018
Frank Paino’s “Laika”
049 December 15, 2018
Jennifer Martelli’s
“Anniversary”
O50 December 19, 2018
Joseph Ross’s “For Gilberto Ramos, 15, Who Died in
the Texas Desert, June 2014”
051 December 23, 2018
“The Persistence of
Music”
by Anatoly Molotkov
052 December 27, 2018
“Under Surveillance”
by Michael Farry
053 December 28, 2018
“Grand Finale”
by Renuka Raghavan
054 December 29, 2018
“Aftermath”
by Gene Barry
055 January 2, 2019
“&”
by Larissa Shmailo
056 January 7, 2019
“The Seamstress:
by Len Kuntz
057 January 10, 2019
"Natural History"
by Camille T Dungy
058 January 11, 2019
“BLOCKADE”
by Brian Burmeister
059 January 12, 2019
“Lost”
by Clint Margrave
060 January 14, 2019
“Menopause”
by Pat Durmon
061 January 19, 2019
“Neptune’s Choir”
by Linda Imbler
062 January 22, 2019
“Views From the
Driveway”
by Amy Barone
063 January 25, 2019
“The heron leaves her
haunts in the marsh”
by Gail Wronsky
064 January 30, 2019
“Shiprock”
by Terry Lucas
065 February 02, 2019
“Summer 1970, The
University of Virginia Opens to Women in the Fall”
by Alarie Tennille
066 February 05, 2019
“At School They Learn
Nouns”
by Patrick Bizzaro
067 February 06, 2019
“I Must Not Breathe”
by Angela Jackson-Brown
068 February 11, 2019
“Lunch on City Island,
Early June”
by Christine Potter
069 February 12, 2019
“Singing”
by Andrew McFadyen-Ketchum
070 February 14, 2019
“Daily Commute”
by Christopher P. Locke
071 February 18, 2019
“How Silent The Trees”
by Wyn Cooper
072 February 20, 2019
“A New Psalm
of Montreal”
by Sheenagh Pugh
073 February 23, 2019
“Make Me A
Butterfly”
by Amy Barbera
074 February 26, 2019
“Anthem”
by Sandy Coomer
075 March 4, 2019
“Shape of a Violin”
by Kelly Powell
076 March 5, 2019
“Inward Oracle”
by J.P. Dancing Bear
077 March 7, 2019
“I Broke
My Bust Of Jesus”
by Susan Sundwall
078 March 9, 2019
“My Mother
at 19”
by John Guzlowski
079 March 10, 2019
“Paddling”
by Chera Hammons Miller
080 March 12, 2019
“Of Water
and Echo”
by Gillian Cummings
081 082
083 March 14, 2019
“Little
Political Sense” “Crossing Kansas with
Jim
Morrison” “The Land of Sky and Blue Waters”
by Dr. Lindsey
Martin-Bowen
084 March 15, 2019
“A Tune To
Remember”
by Anna Evans
085 March 19, 2019
“At the
End of Time (Wish You Were Here)
by Jeannine Hall Gailey
086 March 20, 2019
“Garden of
Gethsemane”
by Marletta Hemphill
087 March 21, 2019
“Letters
From a War”
by Chelsea Dingman
088 March 26, 2019
“HAT”
by Bob Heman
089 March 27, 2019
“Clay for
the Potter”
by Belinda Bourgeois
#090 March 30, 2019
“The Pose”
by John Hicks
#091 April 2, 2019
“Last
Night at the Wursthaus”
by Doug Holder
#092 April 4, 2019
“Original
Sin”
by Diane Lockward
#093 April 5, 2019
“A Father
Calls to his child on liveleak”
by Stephen Byrne
#094 April 8, 2019
“XX”
by Marc Zegans
#095 April 12, 2019
“Landscape
and Still Life”
by Marjorie Maddox
#096 April 16, 2019
“Strawberries
Have Been Growing Here for Hundreds of
Years”
by Mary Ellen Lough
#097 April 17, 2019
“The New
Science of Slippery Surfaces”
by Donna Spruijt-Metz
#098 April 19, 2019
“Tennessee
Epithalamium”
by Alyse Knorr
#099 April 20, 2019
“Mermaid,
1969”
by Tameca L. Coleman
#100 April 21, 2019
“How Do
You Know?”
by Stephanie
#101 April 23, 2019
“Rare Book
and Reader”
by Ned Balbo
#102 April 26, 2019
“THUNDER”
by Jefferson Carter
#103 May 01, 2019
“The sight
of a million angels”
by Jenneth Graser
#104 May 09, 2019
“How to
tell my dog I’m dying”
by Richard Fox
#105 May 17, 2019
“Promises
Had Been Made”
by Sarah Sarai
#106 June 01, 2019
“i sold
your car today”
by Pamela Twining
#107 June 02, 2019
“Abandoned
Stable”
by Nancy Susanna Breen
#108 June 05, 2019
“Cupcake”
by Julene Tripp Weaver
#109 June 6, 2019
“Bobby’s
Story”
by Jimmy Pappas
#110 June 10, 2019
“When You
Ask Me to Tell You About My Father”
by Pauletta Hansel
#111 Backstory of the
Poem’s
“Cemetery
Mailbox”
by Jennifer Horne
#112 Backstory of the Poem’s
“Relics”
by Kate Peper
#113 Backstory of the
Poem’s
“Q”
by Jennifer Johnson
#114 Backstory of the
Poem’s
“Brushing My Hair”
by Tammika Dorsey Jones
#115 Backstory of the
Poem
“Because the Birds Will
Survive, Too”
by Katherine Riegel
#116 Backstory of the Poem
“DIVORCE”
“DIVORCE”
by Joan Barasovska
#117 Backstory of the
Poem
“NEW
YEAR”S EVE 2016”
by Michael Meyerhofer
#118 Backstory of the
Poem
“Dear the
estranged,”
by Gina Tron
#119 Backstory of the Poem
“In
Remembrance of Them”
by Janet Renee Cryer
#120 Backstory of the
Poem
“Horse Fly
Grade Card, Doesn’t Play Well With Others”
by David L. Harrison
#121 Backstory of the
Poem
“My
Mother’s Cookbook”
by Rachael Ikins
#122 Backstory of the
Poem
“Cousins I
Never Met”
by Maureen Kadish
Sherbondy
#123 Backstory of the
Poem
“To Those
Who Were Our First Gods”
by Nickole Brown
#124 Backstory of the
Poem
“Looking For Sunsets (In the Early Morning)”
“Looking For Sunsets (In the Early Morning)”
by Paul Levinson
#125 Backstory of the
Poem
“Tracy”
by Tiff Holland
#126 Backstory of the
Poem
“Legs”
by Cindy Hochman
“Legs”
by Cindy Hochman
#127 Backstory of the
Poem
“Anathema”
“Anathema”
by Natasha Saje
#128 Backstory of the
Poem
“How to
Explain Fertility When an Acquaintance Asks Casually”
by Allison Blevins
#129 Backstory of the
Poem
“The Art of Meditation
In Tennessee”
by Linda Parsons
#130 Backstory of the
Poem
“Schooling
High, In Beslan”
by Satabdi Saha
#131 Backstory of the
Poem
““Baby Jacob survives the Oso Landslide, 2014”
by Amie Zimmerman
#132 Backstory of the
Poem
“Our Age
of Anxiety”
by Henry Israeli
#133 Backstory of the
Poem
“Earth
Cries; Heaven Smiles”
by Ken Allan Dronsfield
#134 Backstory of the Poem
“Eons”
by Janine Canan
#135 Backstory of the
Poem
“Sworn”
by Catherine Zickgraf
#136 Backstory of the
Poem
“Bushwick
Blue”
by Susana H. Case
#137 Backstory of the
Poem
“Then She
Was Forever”
by Paula Persoleo
#138 Backstory of the
Poem
“Enough”
by Kris Bigalk
#139 Backstory of the
Poem
“From Ghosts of the
Upper Floor”
by Tony Trigilio
